Adam Ferrara Quotes

On this page you can find the TOP of Adam Ferrara's best quotes! We hope you will find some sayings from Actor Adam Ferrara's in our collection, which will inspire you to new achievements! There are currently 33 quotes on this page collected since February 2, 1966! Share our collection of quotes with your friends on social media so that they can find something to inspire them!
All quotes by Adam Ferrara: Dating Funny Girlfriends more...
  • My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.

    Funny   Jesus   Easter  
  • I woke up my pop in the middle of the night 'cause the boogie man's under my bed. My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, 'Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man's under the bed!' Pop opens one eye, he's like, 'Is the boogie man bigger than me?' 'Well, no Daddy, he's not.' 'Well, you got your choice: you can deal with the boogie man or you can deal with me.'

    Funny   Running   Hurt  
  • Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.'

    Funny   Lying   Humor  
  • Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'

    Funny   Girl   Humor  
  • The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.

    Funny   Beautiful   Girl  
  • I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'

    Funny   Humor   Animal  
  • I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.

    Funny   Humor   Faces  
  • There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

    Funny   Religious   Humor  
  • The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.

    Funny   Fall   Humor  
  • I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.

    Funny   Nice   Humor  
  • Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

    Funny   Humor   Important  
  • I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.

    Funny   Humor   Men  
  • Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.

    Funny   Sex   Humor  
  • The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'

  • I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.

  • My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'

    Funny   Sex   Father  
  • I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.

    Jobs   Father   Light  
  • I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'

  • If you're in California and it's raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified.

    Rain   Home   California  
  • I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.

    Distance   Believe   Long  
  • I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.

    Funny   Girl   Humor  
  • One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'

    Funny   Humor   Men  
  • As soon as you lay down, that's when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. 'Goodnight, baby.' 'Do you think we were together in a past life?' 'Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.' 'Don't you feel like we're soul...'

    Funny   Baby   Humor  
  • I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.

    Funny   Girlfriend   Sex  
  • I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. 'Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain't getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.'

    Home   Cutting   Boys  
  • You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'

    Funny   Stupid   Humor  
  • My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.

    Dad   Car   Guy  
  • Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

    Funny   Moving   Humor  
  • I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.

    Funny   Humor   Thinking  
  • If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'

    Funny   Humor   Thinking  
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  • We hope you have found the saying you were looking for in our collection! At the moment, we have collected 33 quotes from the Actor Adam Ferrara, starting from February 2, 1966! We periodically replenish our collection so that visitors of our website can always find inspirational quotes by authors from all over the world! Come back to us again!
    Adam Ferrara quotes about: Dating Funny Girlfriends