Amy Sedaris Quotes
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My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice.
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The moment someone says, 'Hey, everyone, listen to the words in this song,' your party is over.
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Learn more about yourself! Make a self-esteem collage using pictures of other people you wish you were.
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I just hate the whole idea of labeling anything as a comedy. If you tell me something's funny, I'll want to rebel against it. When I go to a bookstore and see books categorized as humor, I get furious. Don't tell me that a book is funny. Let me decide if it's funny. It's the same with sitcoms. You call something a sitcom and people expect it to be funny. And that ruins everything.
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My characters always like themselves.
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I can't imagine going to an all-girls school. I went to a public school.
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Before you can give of yourself to others you must know what of yourself you have to give. Every person is special. In all the land there is only one you, possibly two, but seldom more than sixteen.
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I'm not very good with drink recipes. If I'm entertaining, I like to come up with a house drink for the evening, one thing I'll make for the whole evening of the whole month.
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I was just a kid. I think I stole a candy bar. I remember feeling so terrible. It was the worst shock. I was probably 7. That's my least favorite feeling: guilt.
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I swear I want to be a food model.
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I like to play unattractive people who think they're pretty. You can do what you want, but I prefer to look interesting.
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I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed REALLY hard.
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Sometimes it's just enough for me to have the idea. I don't need to see it through to the end. When it actually happens, I'm always disappointed because it's never like what I imagined in my head. When an idea becomes a reality, then it's a job. I'd rather just think about it.
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I am an aging Girl Scout.
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I've never done heroin or slept with people for money or anything.
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When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, 'Why don't you make it yourself.' It's like chocolate-chip cookies. People buy the cookie-dough roll and slice it, and then they lay it on a cookie sheet. That's not making chocolate-chip cookies.
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I just like to have the ideas. Other people can help see them through.
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I'm very domestic; I love cleaning. I love cooking. I like waiting on people. I just like to make things. I don't break that down to be weakness, or the only things women can do, or putting me back 20 years.
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I always got along with all types of people - popular people as well as drug addicts.
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I like to make things, but I looked at old craft books on weaving or mosaics or whatever, I'm like, 'I don't really know anything about that stuff.'
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I love depressing movies and depressing books.
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A lot of times girls think they're funny, but they want to pretty at the same time, and if you want to be funny, you have to be willing to get ugly.
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There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.
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I don't mind pointing out some of the failings of old age, because we are all headed in that direction, unless of course we take our own lives before we become a burden. I'm not advocating suicide, oh wait, I guess I am.
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Don't make anybody a homemade gift. Unless you're really good, or it's going to be really practical. If it's a little thing you think is cute 'cause you made it, just forget it.
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That's how all theater should be done - you only have one chance to see it and then it's gone. One night only.
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I want witchcraft so bad that I can't stand it. I have wands in my apartment. And I use them sometimes. I walk into the kitchen with my wand, and I come out with something on a platter and I say, 'See, magic happens.' Works every time.
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I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.
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My father and I have a very good relationship. We always got along. But I always scold him.
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Some crafts have been practiced for centuries. These crafts were created using skills passed from generation to generation, and were motivated by necessity such as baskets and pottery, or artistic expression, such as more baskets and more pottery. Today, there is a much more leisurely attitude toward crafting, and virtually anyone without a job and access to pipe cleaners can join the elite society of crafters.
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