Bill Hicks Quotes

On this page you can find the TOP of Bill Hicks's best quotes! We hope you will find some sayings from Comedian Bill Hicks's in our collection, which will inspire you to new achievements! There are currently 265 quotes on this page collected since December 16, 1961! Share our collection of quotes with your friends on social media so that they can find something to inspire them!
  • They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer

  • Billy Ray Cyrus does not smoke. Michael Bolton doesn't...Paula Abdul doesn't...there does seem to be a pattern.

  • All day long you see those commercials: 'Here's Your Brain, Just Say No'...and the next commercial is: 'This Bud's For You.'

  • People are bringing shotguns to UFO sightings in Fife, Alabama. I asked a guy, "Why do you bring a gun to a UFO sighting?" Guy said, "Way-ul, we didn' wanna be ab-duc-ted." If I lived in Fife, Alabama, I would be on my hands and knees every night praying for abduction.

  • Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.

  • I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the cops, I'd be so drunk I'd be out dancing to their lights thinking I'd made it to another club.

    "Bill Hicks: Sane Man". Documentary, Comedy, 1989.
  • Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.

    "Bill Hicks: Revelations". Documentary, Comedy, 1993.
  • Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, looks like he rushed it.

    "Arizona Bay". Comedy album by Bill Hicks, recorded between November 1992 and October 1993, 1997.
  • We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.

  • I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.

  • We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.

  • Sixteen years I've pounded my head against the mentality of America, which...I'd say it's about an 8th grade emotional level.

  • How dare you have wino tell me not to do drugs.

    Bill Hicks (2009). “Love All the People (New Edition)”, p.102, Hachette UK
  • The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.

  • Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.

  • Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.

  • People tell me, 'Bill, let it go. The Kennedy assassination was years ago. It was just the assassination of a President and the hijacking of our government by a totalitarian regime - who cares? Just let it go.' I say, 'All right then. That whole Jesus thing? Let it go! It was 2,000 years ago! Who cares?'

    "Bill Hicks: Revelations". Documentary, Comedy, 1993.
  • I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, "Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest." This guy was reaching. I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don't think a Marlboro Light's gonna faze him that much.

    "Dark Poet". Comedy album by Bill Hicks, 1991.
  • The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything. Everyone should wear jeans and have three T-shirts, eat rice and beans.

  • I can't believe a war against drugs when they have anti-drug commercials on TV all day long followed by This Bud is for you.

  • It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

  • If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews.

  • ...I just want to be free of the fears and anxieties and the superstitions of religion. An 'avenging GOD'? One who created Hell for those who don't believe? I thought we were the perfect and holy children of GOD? How could any limits possibly be put upon us? Hell.. really? I'm sorry, but... no. Wrong. You're wrong. That's an insane GOD and therefore not mine. Because, see, GOD would be very sane, don't you get it?

  • The whole image is that eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God's infinite love. That's the message we're brought up with, isn't it? Believe or die! Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all those options.

    "Rant in E-Minor". Comedy album by Bill Hicks, 1997.
  • BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You're not a human being until you're in my phone book.

  • Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years.

    Bill Hicks (2009). “Love All the People (New Edition)”, p.146, Hachette UK
  • I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side.

  • If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.

  • This is the idea that has made me...an anonymous figure in America...If you have children here tonight...they are NOT special.

  • It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.

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  • We hope you have found the saying you were looking for in our collection! At the moment, we have collected 265 quotes from the Comedian Bill Hicks, starting from December 16, 1961! We periodically replenish our collection so that visitors of our website can always find inspirational quotes by authors from all over the world! Come back to us again!

    Bill Hicks

    • Born: December 16, 1961
    • Died: February 26, 1994
    • Occupation: Comedian