Carl Hiaasen Quotes
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No deliberative body is manifestly less qualified to make decisions about public education than our state Legislature. With a few shining exceptions, most of these clowns don't read, can't write, and clearly can't add.
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I've never progressed very far from my days as a smart aleck in middle school.
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I won't be making any friends in the corporate suites.
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Hey. Sometimes to conclusions.
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There is no writer's block in a newsroom. There's only unemployment block.
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I love reality shows. The folks who dream up some of these concepts are either geniuses, or totally stoned.
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A bonus, being a writer, is that the true-life source material is fabulously bizarre. There's so much corruption, violence and free-floating depravity that the well never runs dry, whether you're a novelist, a journalist, or both.
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I'd always wanted to write books ever since I was a kid.
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Everybody's idea of a great book is different, of course. For me it's one that makes my jaw drop on every page, the writing is so original.
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Roy remembered the time he and his father had a talk about fighting. 'It's important to stand up for what's right,' Mr. Eberhardt had said, 'but sometimes there's a fine line between courage and stupidity.
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As frightening as this may sound, what you see in the books is the way I see the world. And so far I haven't seen anything, either in Florida or elsewhere, to dissuade me from it.
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Unfortunately, I don't get to read nearly as much as I want because I'm always working on my own stuff, either the novels or newspaper columns.
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Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm.
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Unfortunately, Florida is a mecca for the shyster element, and there are apparently no rules on the kinds of advertising a lawyer can do.
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Disney's something to be a little alarmed about. It's not just a little theme park anymore. It's now an ethic and outlook and strategy that goes way beyond central Florida.
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The first rule of hurricane coverage is that every broadcast must begin with palm trees bending in the wind.
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I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something.
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I still do a weekly opinion column for the Miami Herald, and it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Rotten fish.
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I was born and raised here [in Florida], so I still have tremendous affection for the state - especially the few wild places that haven't disappeared under concrete. What's left is still worth fighting for, and that's why I stay.
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My escape is to just get in a boat and disappear on the water.
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The evening news made her wonder if God was dead; the morning sun made her believe He wasn't.
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I don't have an e-reader. One reason is that I like to dog-ear the page when I find a particularly good sentence or passage.
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It's actually not very hard to re-set between the adult novels and the ones for younger readers. The narrative voices are very similar, the smartass attitude, the environmental battles. Kids love books that are irreverent and challenge authority, when authority is arbitrary, greedy or foolish. They also love it when you make fun of grownups, and I've spent my whole life as a writer doing that.
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I've never before had the same main character appear in consecutive novels, but I liked Yancy and his attitude, and I was curious to see what would happen to him after Bad Monkey. And I liked the idea of him still trying to get his detective job back while he's stuck on roach patrol.
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I think in the old days, the nexus of weirdness ran through Southern California, and to a degree New York City. I think it's changed so that every bizarre story in the country now has a Florida connection. I don't know why, except it must be some inversion of magnetic poles or something.
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If you write satire, the guilty pleasure these days is that there's just so much material about. On the other hand, if you have a family it can be depressing.
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The Florida in my novels is not as seedy as the real Florida. It's hard to stay ahead of the curve. Every time I write a scene that I think is the sickest thing I have ever dreamed up, it is surpassed by something that happens in real life.
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You can do the best research and be making the strongest intellectual argument, but if readers don't get past the third paragraph you've wasted your energy and valuable ink.
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Like Richard Price and the late, great Elmore Leonard, Matt Burgess is one of those cool, quick and funny writers who can turn a seemingly routine crime caper into something special.
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Unfortunately for novelists, real life is getting way too funny and far-fetched.
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