Craig Benzine Quotes
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Are imperfections is which make we grate.
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I'd choose truth over cake but I'd try to find a way to get both to be honest.
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The good thing about living like me is everywhere you go is a step up.
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Theres nothing to fear but fears themselves, such as monsters, rejection, food poisoning, redundancy, monsters, and oxford commas.
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Cars and bumper cars are two very different things. NEVER sleep in a bumper car.
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At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote.
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Failure is not an option. It just happens all the time. Like, all the time.
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It's better to have a broken CD player that worked once than to never have evolved into a self-aware carbon based lifeform.
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It's better to have won & lost than to have won, stopped trying, & descended into alcoholism.
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Visiting Saturn sounds like a lot of fun but you will die!
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During a heat wave every dude stinks.
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I love it when the coffee's done!
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The only good excuse for not succeeding is DEATH! Unless you're trying to be a ghost. Then it's LIFE!
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Blanket statements are always stupid. NO EXCEPTIONS!
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The grass is always greener when it's covered in money.
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Don’t put clothes on food. It’s supposed to be naked.
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Always go to the bathroom before you ‘go’ to the bathroom.
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Everything is optional. Somethings are illegal. And some things are really gross.
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People alive are better than people not alive.
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Nothing is perfect. Therefore, being perfect is being nothing… and that's a great way to lose weight.
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Options are good. Keeps people choosing.
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Things that don't exist do exist. They're just really fast.
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Be cautious of bears at all times, even when being mauled by a tiger.
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Never put a foot down in the middle of a foot rub.
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If you're gonna lob something, lob love.
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I would hate to be a bee. Be surrounded by bees all the time.
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Dont get scared of death. Get rich! Then die.
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Bird Poop in the mouth is always a surprise.
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Based on this one experience I had, jumping to conclusions is always really stupid.
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