Craig Ferguson Quotes About Funny
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Its easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket.
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Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands.
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If it doesn't work, at least it will be an interesting train wreck.
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Welcome back, my cheeky wee monkeys.
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I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny.
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I only like sports that Bond villains played.
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A dozen swimming events have already been completed in the Olympic competition. I wonder where they got the name 'Speedo.' It doesn't sound like a bathing suit, it sounds like a breakfast cereal for meth addicts.
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It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear.
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Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party.
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Why don't they allow professional wrestling at the Olympics? They allow pro basketball players and hockey players. Olympic pro wrestling would be awesome. The team from Mexico could wear those Mr. X masks. The French wrestler could hit his opponent with a baguette. Or perhaps just surrender.
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....maybe fear is God's way of saying, "Pay attention, this could be fun.
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I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians.
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I'm not so much a dragon slayer, more a dragon annoyer -- I'm a dragon irritater.
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I have a beard. Just not on my face.
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I'm gonna enjoy being old I think I'll be awesome at it.
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They were singing, Gillette, the best a man can get, with a lot of guys hugging their fathers and sailing and riding bikes. I suddenly felt a long way from the best a man could get and I thought it would be nice to get from there to the best.
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Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.
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Equestrian and sailing are sports for people growing up on the mean streets of Connecticut.
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I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.
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The views expressed by Me are in no way endorsed by CBS any of its allied companies or in fact Me.
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I freely admit I'm confused. I'm a confused and troubled individual but at the same time...Its Free!
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I think holidays create so much pressure because people feel they should be having a good time. But you shouldn't.
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Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.
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I think the scores for Olympic gymnastics are affected by what countries the judge and the gymnast are from. That's wrong. That type of political pandering isn't meant for gymnastic Olympic events. It's meant for the Supreme Court.
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If I start giving people what they like I'll turn into one of them and I don't want to be one of them I want to be one of me.
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Last night on the show I had Olympics fever. Unfortunately, it's getting worse. That's not good. I have to call my doctor if my torch burns for more than four hours.
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When in doubt about who's to blame. Blame the English.
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Wait! Don't applaud my cheapness! I've got other crap I need help with!
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I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the truth. I know it isn’t fashionable.
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People sometimes say to me: "Craig, get out of my garden."
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