Dane Cook Quotes

On this page you can find the TOP of Dane Cook's best quotes! We hope you will find some sayings from Comedian Dane Cook's in our collection, which will inspire you to new achievements! There are currently 226 quotes on this page collected since March 18, 1972! Share our collection of quotes with your friends on social media so that they can find something to inspire them!
  • I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.

  • I want to be able to challenge myself. And do things that are away from what I usually do. Stand-up is safe for me. I can do stand-up in front of twenty-five thousand people, and I'm like, "I know how to do this. This is what I do." I want to be a little scared.

    Source: movieweb.com
  • I'm going to hell, ah... but you're laughing, so you're coming.

    Laughing   Hell  
  • People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.

    "INTERVIEW: Dane Cook Knows Earl's Dirty Little Secret in Mr. Brooks!". Interview with Alan Orange, movieweb.com. May 24, 2007.
  • When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...

    Party   Rain   House  
    "Tourgasm", 2006.
  • I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!

    Muffins   I Can  
  • Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.

    Numbers   Dating   Guy  
    Twitter post from Jun 28, 2013
  • I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.

  • My real first job was delivering newspapers with I was 15. I would ride my bike around and chuck papers at people's houses. The thing that sucked is when I would go collecting everyone acted like they were not home. Totally sucked but because I could control the weather I showered trashcan size hail down on their homes until they were completely decimated.

    Jobs   Real   Home  
    Source: mcclainjohnson.com
  • My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.

    Mom   Brother   Betrayal  
    "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.
  • I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle.

    Hands   Spoons   Excited  
    "Dane Cook Interview". Interview with McClain Johnson, mcclainjohnson.com.
  • Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.

    Hurt   Pain   Winning  
    Twitter post from Oct 9, 2011
  • It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.

  • I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

  • Teach your kids to make deplorable choices and hopefully they'll rebel and make the right ones.

    Kids   Choices   Rebel  
  • You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.

  • I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

    Giving   Toasters   Today  
  • I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.

    "INTERVIEW: Dane Cook Knows Earl's Dirty Little Secret in Mr. Brooks!". Interview with B. Alan Orange, movieweb.com. May 24, 2007.
  • I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.

    "Dane Cook Talks Planes, Working on a Disney Animated Movie, Learning Aviation Jargon, and Planes Sequel". Interview with Sheila Roberts, collider.com. August 6, 2013.
  • The problem with dating a model is they won't go out with you if your cars color doesn't match their outfit.

    Color   Dating   Car  
  • I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.

    People   Comedy   Enjoy  
    Interview with David Medsker, www.bullz-eye.com. August 1, 2005.
  • I don't like littering and I think it leads to terrorist activities.

    Source: mcclainjohnson.com
  • I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

    Interview with David Medsker, www.bullz-eye.com. August 1, 2005.
  • When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.

    Stars   Father   Thinking  
  • I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not "all" but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.

    FaceBook post by Dane Cook from Mar 25, 2011
  • Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever.

    Hate   Mad   Looks  
    Twitter post from Jun 8, 2013
  • This is a dream come true. HBO is the highest echelon in the world for a stand-up comedian to attain. Throughout my career I've trusted my instincts to lead me down the right path, and I am honored to work together with this network while contributing to the legacy that is HBO.

    Dream   Careers   Hbo  
    "Dane Cook Signs Big HBO Deal" by Brian B., movieweb.com. March 02, 2006.
  • My grandmother died of natural causes. Or as my family calls it murdered by the lord.

  • I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.

  • Sometimes girls act all TNT Network because they know drama. That's when guys get all TBS around you because we think it's very funny.

    Girl   Drama   Thinking  
Page 1 of 8
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • We hope you have found the saying you were looking for in our collection! At the moment, we have collected 226 quotes from the Comedian Dane Cook, starting from March 18, 1972! We periodically replenish our collection so that visitors of our website can always find inspirational quotes by authors from all over the world! Come back to us again!