Dean Martin Quotes
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If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
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The reason I drink is because when I'm sober I think I'm Eddie Fisher.
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Return to me, for my heart wants you only. Hurry home, hurry home, won't you please hurry home to my heart.
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Johnny Carson is a comedian who is seen every night in millions of bedrooms all over America...and that's why his last wife left him.
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Motivation is a lotta crap.
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The thing I notice first about a woman is her walk. A beautiful woman is like a race horse-slim, sleek and with a beautiful carriage.
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You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
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When Jerry Lewis and I were big, we used to go to parties, and everybody thought I was big-headed and stuck up, and I wasn't. It was because I didn't know how to speak good English, so I used to keep my mouth shut.
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I once shook hands with Pat Boone, and my whole right side sobered up!
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When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces, there's only one thing to do: kick over the table.
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Haven't got a girl, but I can wish. So I'll take me down to Main Street and that's where I'll select my imaginary dish.
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I know it's the gentlemanly thing to let the wife file. But, then, everybody knows I'm no gentleman.
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There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks better than he does.
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Brother, you can't go to jail for what you're thinking, or that look in your eye, just standing on the corner watching all the girls go by.
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Your lips and mine, two sips of wine, memories are made of this.
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I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,' 'goodbye,' and 'I'm pregnant.'
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I take the juice of two bottles of whisky.
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Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime.
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It was a woman who drove me to drink. Come to think of it, I never did hang around to thank her for that. 'Hey lady! Do I look all blurry to you? 'Cause you look blurry to me!'
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If this is just the beginning, my life's gonna be beautiful.
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Love is a flower that blooms so tender, each kiss a dew drop of sweet surrender. Love is a moment of life enchanting, let's take that moment that tonight is granting.
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In order to share intimate feelings, you have to have intimate feelings.
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With his blessings from above, serve it generously with love. One man, one wife, one love, through life.
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Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show business. Hard work, perseverance, and discipline: all the things you need...when you have no talent.
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I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor.
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Everybody makes mistakes; look at Hitler.
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Your love made it all worth waiting for some like you.
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Somewhere there's a someone for me. Though I may be lonely now, I'll see it through somehow, to somebody's heart I know I hold the key.
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When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's amore.
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We try to find chemistry; we don't do a lot of situational baseball.
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