Doug Larson Quotes
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For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
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A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
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If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
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Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.
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Democracy is a system that gives people a chance to elect rascals of their own choice.
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More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
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A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.
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A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
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Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept.
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To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.
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The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older.
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The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
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The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.
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What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of living high.
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Nostalgia: A device that removes the ruts and potholes from memory lane.
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The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
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There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 am. It could be a right number.
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Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
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A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
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Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.
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Autumn is a season followed immediately by looking forward to spring.
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Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.
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A lifetime isn't nearly long enough to figure out what it's all about.
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Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.
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The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
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If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
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Law of Airlines: The shorter the time between flights, the greater the distance between gates.
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Fancy Restaurant: one that serves cold soup on purpose.
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The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
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In debating the respective merits of dogs and cats, not having to walk a cat when it's 20 below zero deserves consideration.
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