Dov Davidoff Quotes
-
We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.
→ -
I'd like you much better if you didn't like yourself so much.
→ -
It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.
→ -
People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.
→ -
We're born alone and we die alone. So in between, let's spend time with people that make us feel good... or at least put-out.
→ -
The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
→ -
How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
→ -
Comedy has been my way to reconcile with the world. I didn't really set out to do this, but comedy has served as my outlet to address my issues I have with this crazy world.
→ -
When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
→ -
Headphone aren't big enough these days. Why not just throw a couple of stereo speakers in a full face motorcycle helmet.
→ -
The Middle East is America's 'champagne room'. No matter how much you spend, you will still never get what you want.
→ -
The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
→ -
Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.
→ -
Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.
→ -
Dating a white girl is like dating a black girl if she were really passive-agressive.
→ -
Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.
→ -
I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.
→ -
The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.
→ -
Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?
→ -
If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.
→ -
I really appreciate the way you don't appreciate me, said my subconscious as I agreed to go out with her yet again.
→ -
America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.
→ -
People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
→ -
If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.
→ -
If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.
→ -
When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.
→ -
Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
→ -
I have a sneaking suspicion that leading an examined life and being really tan aren't consistent with one another.
→ -
The best thing about bugs is their lack of self consciousness, also the ability to fly doesn't hurt.
→ -
Comedy is rarely funny.
→