Finley Peter Dunne Quotes
-
There are no friends at cards or world politics
→ -
Vice goes along way towards making life bearable. A little vice now and then is relished by the best of men.
→ -
It must be a good thing to be good or ivrybody wudden't be pretendin' he was.
→ -
Drink never made a man better, but it has made many a man think he was better.
→ -
You can lade a man up to th' university, but ye can't make him think.
→ -
High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.
→ -
Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.
→ -
A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police.
→ -
Viceis a creature of such heejous mienthat th' more ye see it th' betther ye like it.
→ -
A game you play with your own worst enemy-yourself.
→ -
A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.
→ -
If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.
→ -
I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.
→ -
It is more comfortable to feel that we are a slight improvement on a monkey than such a fallin' off from the angels.
→ -
The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.
→ -
One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.
→ -
A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.
→ -
It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.
→ -
If ye live enough befure thirty ye won't care to live at all afther fifty.
→ -
If a man is wise, he gets rich an' if he gets rich, he gets foolish, or his wife does. That's what keeps the money movin' around.
→ -
No, sir, th' dimmycratic party ain't on speakin' terms with itsilf. Whin ye see two men with white neckties go into a sthreet car an' set in opposite corners while wan mutthers Thraiter an' th' other hisses Miscreent ye can bet they're two dimmycratic leaders thryin' to reunite th' gran' ol' party.
→ -
A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable
→ -
Politics ain't beanbag: 'tis a man's game, and women, children 'n' pro-hy-bitionists had best stay out of it.
→ -
Histhry is a post-mortem examination. It tellsye what a counthry died iv. But I'd like to know what it lived iv.
→ -
Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.
→ -
It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.
→ -
Th' newspaper does ivrything f'r us. It runs th' polis foorce an' th' banks, commands th' milishy, controls th' ligislachure, baptizes th' young, marries th' foolish, comforts th' afflicted, afflicts th' comfortable, buries th' dead an' roasts thim aftherward.
→ -
What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.
→ -
Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.
→ -
Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.
→
Related Authors
-
Deborah Tannen Professor -
Ray Stannard Baker Journalist -
Irene Dunne Film actress -
George Ade Writer -
Douglas Sirk Film director -
Jane Wyman Singer -
-
Frank Skinner Comedian -
Charles Farrar Browne Writer -
-
Dave Madden Actor -
Fannie Hurst Novelist -
Irvin S. Cobb Author -
Jonathan Carroll Writer -
Lloyd C. Douglas Author -
Friedrich Durrenmatt Author -
Griffin Dunne Actor -
W. H. Auden Poet -
H. L. Mencken Journalist -
John Kendrick Bangs Author