Gary Gulman Quotes

On this page you can find the TOP of Gary Gulman's best quotes! We hope you will find some sayings from Stand-up comedian Gary Gulman's in our collection, which will inspire you to new achievements! There are currently 4 quotes on this page collected since July 17, 1970! Share our collection of quotes with your friends on social media so that they can find something to inspire them!
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  • I really think I'm at the top of my game right now, and I have the tools that I've learned over the years, so I feel really good about what I'm doing onstage now.

  • I think everything contributes to your creativity.

  • I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.

  • Ever drive by one of those things on the highway which tells you how fast you're going? I don't even pay attention to them anymore because I found a similar gadget in my dashboard... Some people slow down at those things... I don't slow down. I speed up and set the high score.

  • Is it common for people to become a pothead at 40? Asking for myself.

  • Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.

    Twitter post from Oct 28, 2013
  • Don't go back over your life with a red pen.

  • Do you know what Bill Gates has to pull out of an old coat, to feel like I did with a $20 bill? First of all, the idea that Bill Gates has an old coat is preposterous. If he has an old coat, it's the coat Abe Lincoln was shot in and he wears it as a bathrobe - no underwear by the way. He lets his billionaire balls swing willy-nilly beneath the death cloak of the great emancipator. That's your 1%.

  • My brother is a tax guy, and the way I look at it, it's like he's spending his life saving money for rich people. So I think making strangers laugh, at least having a creative component to your profession, is more manageable for me. I can live with that a lot easier.

  • With basketball, if a guy is having an off night you still can say he's a good athlete. But with a comedian, you see them in front of the wrong audience - and they can look like complete amateurs. It's remarkable.

  • There's a kiss at the end of the rainbow more precious than a pot of gold.

  • Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

  • The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was the quarter from behind the ear gag. He would never put the time in.

  • When you're gay every party is a bad sweater party.

    Twitter post from Nov 12, 2017
  • I think everything is fair game to a certain extent.

  • Every cookie is a sugar cookie. A cookie without sugar is a cracker.

    "Last Comic Standing". Comedy, Game-Show, Reality-TV, www.imdb.com.
  • Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.

  • I've always wanted to do more significant stuff. I think of myself as well-informed, but the hardest thing to do is talk about politics and current events and be funny and not just preachy.

  • If you try to pop the unpopped kernels in the microwave, you go back in time.

  • I really shine in front of prominently Jewish crowds. Normally I really beat myself up, but as far as Jewish audiences go, I'm at the top of my game.

  • There are certain jokes that indicate how mainstream a comic is. If you're talking about how the side effects of drugs that they advertise on TV are worse than the actual illness they're supposed to prevent, that's like the hackiest joke out there now. If you're still doing that joke, that usually is an indicator of being mainstream, in a bad way.

  • It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.

  • Without my family, I'd be something.

  • If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.

  • Would it be ironic if we had to go back to Iraq to rid it of the Al Quaeda that wasn't there before we got there to rid it of Al Queda?

  • I was born when my dad was 50... It's weird growing up with a dad that much older than you. We'd go to the movies, we're both getting discounts.

  • I just always wonder if I'm too obsessive about subjects. I try to avoid that.

  • I think the biggest challenge I have faced is that I have struggled most of my life with often crippling depression which has sometimes if not keeping me off stage kept me from writing regularly and with any kind of confidence.

  • I have 236 movies on my queue and I feel like I should always be watching movies. Like if I wake up in the middle of the night and don't fall directly back to sleep, I'm like, 'I've been up for an hour and a half I could have watched 'Toy Story 3' by now.' In this economy it is a sin not to be watching movies when you have Netflix.

  • It was early on when I was really focused and obsessed with doing The Tonight Show and Letterman and stuff like that. Then, I quickly realized that those things don't make or break a career.

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We hope you have found the saying you were looking for in our collection! At the moment, we have collected 4 quotes from the Stand-up comedian Gary Gulman, starting from July 17, 1970! We periodically replenish our collection so that visitors of our website can always find inspirational quotes by authors from all over the world! Come back to us again!
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