George Lopez Quotes
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I want to tell you about a woman I have been married to for ten years, my wife, Ann, who speaking truthfully, saved me from myself. Who saved me from destroying myself because of my background. Who saved me from wasting my life, drinking my life away, never fulfilling my dreams because of what I had come from, and truly believing and loving - truly the first person to ever truthfully, unconditionally love me.
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Life is great and golf has been one of the great parts of it for me.
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One time, I was so hungry, I ate the beans in a bean bag chair.
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if you make waffles, throw out the first one.
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I never realized I could love people as much as I do now.
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I think it's easier for African American and white comics to be praised than it is Latinos because they think our culture or our humor is substandard. I mean, I just don't think they want to give us credit. I just don't think that they see us as important enough to be at their level. I'm the longest-produced comedy at Warner Bros. and I don't feel special. They come over and say hello. But everybody's gonna make a lot of money and I don't feel like I'm special to them.
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80% of the women who were asked if they fake orgasms said yes. Actually, they said Yes! Oh God, Yes!
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Tied one on last night. Not feeling great this morning. I was trying to sleep it off, unfortunately, it was on the casino floor.
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Marijuana brownies are amazing. Very simple to make, too. Just get some Duncan Hines brownie mix and cook the weed right in there. Drop it right in with the butter. I don't know who came up with this idea first, but it's sheer genius.
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My wife gave me a book before we got married, Oh, the Places You'll Go!, by Dr. Seuss. She was trying to tell me something, about what I was capable of, but I didn't get it. Over time, I've sort of lived the message in that book, and I couldn't have without what golf taught me. So I put it in my bag while I played the Old Course, and on the last hole when I posed on the Swilcan Bridge, I held it up.
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Life is moments going by, but if you don't grab them, they're gone. For a long time, the only moments that were available were bad ones. So now I make sure to grab the good ones.
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I do everything one at a time, one day at a time. It's the only way I can do all what I want. I stopped watching [most of] the news and entertainment shows. I think it's helped me to stay a little clearer. Do I need to know what Kevin Federline is doing? And I don't sleep a lot. I'm always connected to [my work].
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I prefer my Mexican food to have a little bit of an animal that suffered a little bit. That's some of the best food.
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Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through!
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A Dodger uniform just doesn't look good with a cummerbund.
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Memories, priceless. Well not really priceless, but there you go!
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When I look at the Gospel, I see how it is speaking to me at this time. I see how to be to others and it helps.
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We are now the proud owners of a white boy. Now we have to shop in the caucasian isle and get sunscreen, mayonaise and mild salsa because the other ones really hawt!
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When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!'
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I look at movies, unfortunately, and I still see a lot of movies [lacking diversity].
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I spend a lot of time alone and my wife understands that I need to be alone. I enjoy being alone. But I'm never lonely.
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You're never going to be a Yankee for a day, or you're never going to be a Laker, but with Pro-Ams, they allow you to feel like you're a professional golfer and play under their conditions.
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We're Mexi-cans not Mexi-can'ts.
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I got a pain in my chest, and I can't breathe
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If you want a show to succeed, you're going to have to have a certain amount of people watch who are non-black and non-Latino. If you can't cross over, you don't belong on TV. That's not just me saying it. That's just the way it is.
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Obama is the closest thing to a Latino that we have. Barack. Everybody wants to see his birth certificate too.
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You know, you walk through this hotel, you're not going to see all white people; you're not going to see all black people; you're going to see what the world looks like. I promised myself that if I ever got an opportunity where I would be able to make a difference and have a say, that I would want to deliver [that] message [of inclusivity].
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I used to be ashamed by the way that I grew up. I tried to lie my way through better times, but when you think that honesty and truth is really your best weapon you embrace it and put it behind you. In the end, it drives you and motivates you to do good work. No one should be ashamed about where they come from as long as you desire to be a compassionate and decent person.
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We're Mexican not Mexican't!
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As Latinos, you want [people] to come to America - not necessarily Latinos, but [anyone who wants] to come here for a better life. That's kind of how this country was founded and the history of this country.
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