George Mikes Quotes

On this page you can find the TOP of George Mikes's best quotes! We hope you will find some sayings from Author George Mikes's in our collection, which will inspire you to new achievements! There are currently 73 quotes on this page collected since February 15, 1912! Share our collection of quotes with your friends on social media so that they can find something to inspire them!
All quotes by George Mikes: Cats Country Funny Giving Language Soul War more...
  • Rich people (in Australia) have swimming pools in their gardens but, at least, they do swim in them.

    Funny   Humor   Swimming  
  • It was decided almost two hundred years ago that English should be the language spoken in the United States. It is not known, however, why this decision has not been carried out.

  • Long before the word Zionism was uttered for the first time, old religious Jews came from all over the world to die in Jerusalem. It is the finest place to die in - it has always been acknowledged. It has a joie de mourir quite its own.

    George Mikes (1969). “The Prophet Motive: Israel Today and Tomorrow”
  • THE British are brave people. They can face anything, except reality.

    Reality   People   Brave  
  • People on the Continent either tell you the truth or lie; in England they hardly ever lie, but they would not dream of telling you the truth.

    Funny   Dream   Lying  
  • Tel-Aviv airport is still the only airport in the world where each passenger is met by ten relatives.

    George Mikes (1969). “Coat of Many Colors: Israel”
  • When people say England, they sometimes mean Great Britain, sometimes the United Kingdom, sometimes the British Isles, - but never England.

    Mean   People   Kingdoms  
    George Mikes (1973). “How to be an Alien: A Handbook for Beginners and Advanced Pupils”, p.83, Penguin UK
  • Prices in Italy are only slightly lower than in France, which means that Italy is a very expensive country for everyone, natives, visitors and tourists.

    Country   Mean   Tourists  
  • Although the rudiments of snobbery are there, its finer developments are basically alien to the Australian soul - that is, if Australians have a soul; many people believe that they are too matter-of-fact and down-to-earth to have such fancy commodities.

    Funny   Believe   Humor  
  • What beefsteak is to Argentina, flamenco to Spain, cool reserve and self-control in all situations to an Englishman, what vodka is to a Russian and beer to a Bavarian, what money is to a Swiss, that is outdoor-life to an Australian. It is a noble mania, better than vodka, better than cool reserve, better than money.

    Funny   Humor   Beer  
  • The trouble with tea is that originally it was quite a good drink. So a group of the most eminent British scientists put their heads together and made complicated biological experiments to find a way of spoiling it. To the eternal glory of British science, their labour bore fruit.

    Tea   Together   Groups  
    "How to Be an Alien: A Handbook for Beginners and More Advanced Pupils". Book by George Mikes, 1946.
  • Was he joking? Was he being sarcastic? Aggressive? Impertinent? Or just courteous? There was no telling from his impassive face. What a country, he thought despairingly. In Russia you always knew. If a man made a stern face he was threatening; if he was laughing uproariously, he was joking.

  • Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game.

    1946 How to be an Alien.
  • If somebody tells you an obviously untrue story, on the Continent you would remark, "You are a liar, Sir, and a rather dirty one at that." In England you just say "Oh, is that so?" Or "That's rather an unusual story, isn't it?

    Liars   Dirty   Stories  
  • Nobody uses his car in New York, because so many people use it that traffic is congested and unbearably slow.

    George Mikes (1959). “How to scrape skies: the United States explored, rediscovered and explained”
  • The Japanese are human beings like the rest of us, but they will strongly resent this insinuation.

    Funny   Humorous   Japan  
    George Mikes (1970). “The land of the rising yen: Japan”, Harvard Common Press
  • A great deal of the pupils time was spent going through, once again, the History of the Communist (Bolshevik) Party of the Soviet Union. He had learnt it at elementary school; at secondary school; at his sports club; at the Komsomol; at the university; at a folk dancing course; at the chess-club.

    Funny   Sports   Humorous  
  • In England the boy pats his adored one on the back and says softly, "I don't object, you know." If he is quite mad with passion, he may add: "I rather fancy you, in fact.

    Passion   Boys   Mad  
  • In England it is bad manners to be clever, to assert something confidently. It may be your own personal view that two and two make four, but you must not state it in a self-assured way, because this is a democratic country and others may be of a different opinion.

    Country   Clever   Self  
    George Mikes (1986). “How to be a Brit: The Classic Bestselling Guide”, p.43, Penguin UK
  • American radio is the reverse of the Shakespearean stage. In Shakespeare's time the world's greatest dramas were acted with the most primitive technical arrangements; on the American air the world's most primitive writing is performed under perfect technical conditions.

    Funny   Drama   Humorous  
  • Australians are decent people with the right instincts and they wish everybody well; but if all is not well, it is none of their business and they will not lose too much sleep over it. The shrug of the shoulders has become - only temporarily, I daresay - the national gesture of Australia.

    Funny   Humor   Sleep  
  • It is great fun dying in the United States of America. It is great fun first of all for the undertakers who make a wonderful living out of it but also for the deceased who suddenly becomes the centre of attention and fuss.

    George Mikes (1959). “How to scrape skies: the United States explored, rediscovered and explained”
  • It is often said that the Japanese are extremely clean at home, or inside any house or office, but dirty and untidy outside. 'Go and look at a railway station,' I was told, 'and you'll be horrified.' I went and was horrified; horrified by the cleanliness of the place.

    Funny   Humorous   Dirty  
    George Mikes (1970). “The land of the rising yen: Japan”, Harvard Common Press
  • Humility is one of the most repulsive virtues, nearly always false.

    Funny   Humor   Humility  
    George Mikes (1970). “The land of the rising yen: Japan”, Harvard Common Press
  • The poor Americans are so busy defending the rights of Hindus in Pakistan, Moslems in India, Jews in Palestine, Koreans in Japan, Italians in Yugoslavia and Hungarians in Czechoslovakia that they simply cannot give a thought to Negroes in the United States.

    Funny   Humorous   Rights  
    George Mikes (1959). “How to scrape skies: the United States explored, rediscovered and explained”
  • To be extravagant you need money. True. But you do not need your own money.

    George Mikes (1983). “How to be poor”, A. Deutsch and M. Sutkiewicz Pub.
  • When a wicked and unworthy subject annoyed the Sultan of Turkey or the Czar of Russia, he had his head cut of without much ceremony; but when the same happened in England, the monarch declared : "We are not amused".

    George Mikes (1986). “How to be a Brit: The Classic Bestselling Guide”, p.46, Penguin UK
  • Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles.

    How to Be an Alien (1946)
  • The English are always ready to admire anything so long as they can queue up.

    Long   Queues   Admire  
  • I have often thought that the aim of port is to give you a good and durable hangover, so that during the next day you should be reminded of the splendid occasion the night before.

    Hangover   Wine   Night  
Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • We hope you have found the saying you were looking for in our collection! At the moment, we have collected 73 quotes from the Author George Mikes, starting from February 15, 1912! We periodically replenish our collection so that visitors of our website can always find inspirational quotes by authors from all over the world! Come back to us again!
    George Mikes quotes about: Cats Country Funny Giving Language Soul War