Jane Wagner Quotes
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To think, we have the garment industry instead of nature to thank for the zipper concept when it would have come in so handy for childbirth.
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If olive oil comes from olives, then where does baby oil come from?
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What you try to bury just ends up burying you.
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If you are a human being, you might as well face it. You are going to rub a lot of people the wrong way.
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Sex is such a personal thing - why do we insist on sharing it with another person?
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I worry that our lives are like soap operas. We can go for months and not tune in to them, then six months later we look in and the same stuff is still going on.
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When I first came into this world, Elvis was already fat.
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Nothing makes you realize you don't know what you want more than getting what you want.
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I may not be great at geometry but I know one theorum. The longest distance between two points is you and your parents.
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Reality is just a collective hunch.
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Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.
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What is reality anyway! It's nothing but a collective hunch.
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The truth can be made up if you know how.
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At the moment you are most in awe of all there is about life that you don't understand, you are closer to understanding it all than at any other time.
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... it's hard to be politically conscious and upwardly mobile at the same time.
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Just think: your family are the people most likely to give you the flu.
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Infinity: Time on an ego trip.
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My space chums think reality was once a primitive method of crowd control that got out of hand. In my view, it’s absurdity dressed up in a three-piece business suit.
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Ahhhhhhhh. There is nothing natural about natural childbirth. It is as close to a freak accident as anything I can think of. Why I picked a time like this to go off drugs?
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My mom says I have to be more positive, and I say life has to be more positive too or it's just not going to work.
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I made some studies, and reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. I can take it in small doses, but as a lifestyle, I found it too confining. It was just too needful; it expected me to be there for it all the time, and with all I have to do--I had to let something go.
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Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.
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If evolution was worth its salt, by now it should've evolved something better than survival of the fittest. I think a better idea would be survival of the wittiest.
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Mirrors can't talk. Luckily for you, they can't laugh either.
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It's not that I lack ambition. I am ambitious in the sense that I want to be more than I am now. But if I were truly ambitious, I think I'd already be more than I am now.
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A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?
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It's my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.
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One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.
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The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.
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You don't know what it's like! Hyperactive twins! When they turned three, my doctor prescribed Ritalin -- I wouldn't dream of giving a drug to my children, but it does help when I take it myself.
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