Janeane Garofalo Quotes
-
I wound up getting a lot of other opportunities in the nineties, and then sort of as quickly as it started, it just as quickly ended around 2001. And so yeah, I'd love to continue acting but it's just not up to me.
→ -
German accents and Hassidic accents aren't that romantic. They're more harsh. Although Hebrew, when spoken by certain people, sounds beautiful. There's this beautiful woman I know who speaks Hebrew, and when she speaks, it's so attractive. Maybe it's who's speaking it.
→ -
The term 'celebrity' makes my skin crawl.
→ -
Red flag of the eating disorder: the muffin. Keep your eye on the ladies with the muffins... and sometimes I'll just eat the muffin top.
→ -
Sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship.
→ -
Listening to your tape, I was reminded of this poem. It has the central question: Is it harder to count on someone or to know that you're being the one counted upon? Anyway, there's this part that goes: if equal affection cannot be, then let the more loving one be me. Have you ever read that one? It's one of my favorites.
→ -
You just need an opportunity and then you yourself have to do a good job, and then you hope that people go, 'Oh yeah, I forgot about her.'
→ -
My dream would be to be on a show that shoots in New York, because I live here, and then I could walk to work.
→ -
This world is bullshit. And just because I appear in music video wherein I am in my underwear, and make young women feel not good enough so that they become anorxeic; and okay, maybe because of that I became popular more quickly than other singers who are, I don't know, maybe more talented or better songwriters. That doesn't matter because, and... um... my boyfriend is a magician, and he can pull a quarter out of your ear and say things like 'We have not met before have we?' Go with yourself.
→ -
There is no blacklist. In the first place, in the entertainment business, money talks, bullshit walks. So Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins won't be blacklisted because they are bankable stars. In the second place, if you are a woman, the only things you're going to be blacklisted for in Hollywood are body fat and aging.
→ -
It's been hard in entertainment as a 45-year-old woman to find jobs. They get fewer and far between if you're older, unless you're one of the few lucky ones who work constantly, like Meryl Streep.
→ -
... being a feminist means that you believe in civil rights and social justice.
→ -
I would never join the Tea Partiers, because I don't have a problem with the color of Obama's skin. I don't have a problem with immigrants. You know what I mean? I do have genuine problems with policy and government corruption. Sure I do. And I speak very candidly about that, regardless of who's in office. But since the Tea Partiers are ridiculous, why would I urge anyone to participate with them?
→ -
As you can tell from watching the show, I'm not a strong joke writer per se.
→ -
There's a fake Facebook me. There's a fake me Twittering. Sometimes, when it was at the height of right-wing nonsense picking on me, there would be a fake me writing letters to the editor. Just totally not even something I've ever said, that will then become part of the echo chamber.
→ -
I think the parts I was offered when I was younger, where I was asked to play that kind of slacker person, that was just because people would go, "Oh, she has dyed black hair." I guess that's how they thought I looked. I played a couple of those roles, and then unfortunately you get pigeonholed really fast, and then you just keep getting asked to do that. And now it would be weird at the age of 46 for me to play a slacker. It would look like I was nuts.
→ -
I'm a walker. I enjoy walking, which I think psychologically expresses my feelings of wanting liberation without exerting myself too much.
→ -
I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.
→ -
But let me ask you this though, first and foremost: who's your favorite Spice Girl? Mine is Sporty Spice and I'll tell you why. You know what? She might not be as aesthetically pleasant as the rest but she'll do a backflip and steal your heart.
→ -
When I talk about people wrapping themselves in the flag and hiding behind Jesus - that's an anti-intellectual thing to do in the political process, because legally, allegedly we have a separation between church and state. That's a legal precedent that's never observed. When people are trying to do something that's not in your best interest, they will wrap it in the flag and hide behind Jesus, which is a corrupt thing to do.
→ -
You can tell a lot about a person by how excited they are to do the Macarena.
→ -
Iraq is a manufactured conflict for the sake of geopolitical dominance in the area.
→ -
I mostly get takeout, I have to admit - I don't know if that's something to be ashamed of. I'm not much of a cook.
→ -
Is being an idiot like being high all the time?
→ -
The handful of corporations that own most of the media outlets have an interest in reflecting establishment views.
→ -
For my stand-up, I always have my notebook with me and if something strikes me, I'll write it down.
→ -
Rejection kills, disappointment only maims.
→ -
I would tell the Democrats in Washington who are trying to be civil with the "bipartisanship" to please stop and let the joker die once and for all, let the agents of chaos hit the pavement, stop picking them up.
→ -
The teabaggers - do I know every single one of them? No. Can I see that there's a lot of racist bullshit going on? Absolutely. Would it have been welcome to see more of these "anti-government" types around after the stolen election? It would have been good to see it. I wouldn't have liked to see them with their immigrant-bashing and their stupid signs.
→ -
Without liberals we wouldn't have unions. We wouldn't have environmental protections. We wouldn't have seat belts or birth control or the ACLU! Any of these things!
→
Related Authors
-
Hank Azaria Film actor -
Molly Shannon Comic -
Beau Garrett Actress -
Uma Thurman Actress -
Paula Poundstone Comedian -
Michael Ian Black Comedian -
David Cross Actor -
Al Franken United States Senator -
William H. Macy Actor -
Brad Bird Screenwriter -
Alanna Ubach Actress -
Ben Stiller Actor -
Marguerite Moreau Actress -
Mira Sorvino Actress -
Christopher Meloni Actor -
Winona Ryder Actress -
Michael Showalter Comedian -
David Wain Comedian -
Ian Holm Actor -
Lisa Kudrow Actress