Jimmy Fallon Quotes

On this page you can find the TOP of Jimmy Fallon's best quotes! We hope you will find some sayings from Television host Jimmy Fallon's in our collection, which will inspire you to new achievements! There are currently 397 quotes on this page collected since September 19, 1974! Share our collection of quotes with your friends on social media so that they can find something to inspire them!
  • With more and more states legalizing marijuana, companies are lining up to create the first marijuana breathalyzer. Officials say the toughest part is getting stoners to stop trying to inhale off the breathalyzer.

  • The U.S. is re-establishing relations with Cuba. But before President Obama can lift the embargo, it will need approval from the Republican-controlled Congress - or as Republicans who called Obama said, 'Close, but no cigar.'

    President   Cuba   Needs  
  • A peacock escaped from the Central Park Zoo and wandered around the city. Either that or I just saw a pigeon on his way to a gay pride parade.

    Funny   Zoos   Pride  
  • Shouldn't every day be Earth Day? I mean, what are our options?

    Mean   Earth Day   Earth  
  • Joe Biden was spotted with a bruise on his face that was apparently caused by his dog. I guess they collided when they both went after the same tennis ball.

    Dog   Tennis   Balls  
  • Bernie Sanders' presidential campaign announced that it raised over $1.5 million in the 24 hours after he announced his bid. Meanwhile, a 12-year-old on Kickstarter just raised $7 million in five minutes after announcing his idea for juice box water guns.

    Gun   Years   Ideas  
  • Donald Trump got in some trouble for saying that John McCain is not a war hero, and said, 'I like people that weren't captured.' Not good. In fact, Trump's people are telling him to lay low for a while until this all combs over.

    War   Hero   People  
    "CNN Newsroom" with Carol Costello, www.cnn.com. July 21, 2015.
  • I didn't think it was going to be this fun. But everything just gets heightened when you have a baby. The volume gets turned up on life. I never knew I could be this happy, and that's the truth.

    Baby   Fun   Dad  
    "Jimmy Fallon And Baby Winnie Cover ‘People’ In Matching Suits" By Jessica Samakow, www.huffingtonpost.com. June 12, 2014.
  • Department store Santas are apparently being trained to lower children's expectations about toys because of the recession. Yeah, it's weird when you ask Santa for a train set and he's like, 'Yeah, how 'bout a bus token?

  • I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic.

  • I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your boyfriend.

    Funny   Cute   Boyfriend  
  • According to a new poll, the number of Americans who trust Hillary is dropping. Specifically into a hole that Hillary covered with leaves.

  • In a recent attack ad, the NRA claims that President Obama cares about his own children more than he cares about other children. In response, President Obama was like, 'Yeah, that's how families work.'

  • A new survey out says 64 percent of Americans own a smartphone. Which is interesting because in a related survey, 100 percent of smart phones say they own an American.

  • Steven Spielberg is going to release a biopic about Abraham Lincoln next year. Right, that's a good way to honor Lincoln – by sending people to the theater.

    Funny   Years   People  
  • Joe Biden went to Brazil in an effort to try and repair America's relationship with their government. Biden said, 'It's great to be here in the Amazon. I've always wanted to see where all the books come from.'

  • Yesterday, the Supreme Court spent over an hour listening to arguments on whether Obamacare is unconstitutional. Yeah, listening to arguments about Obamacare for an hour, or as most people call that, 'Thanksgiving Dinner.'

  • I, of course, wanted to do something with Drew Barrymore. Please. So we were reading scripts back and forth and then we found this script, Fever Pitch...

    Reading   Fever   Scripts  
    Interview with Jeff Otto, www.ign.com. April 4, 2005.
  • Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one.

    Land   Conan   Know How  
    "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.
  • George W. Bush gave a commencement speech at Southern Methodist University this weekend. It was pretty inspirational. He said, 'As I like to tell the 'C' students, you too can be president.' Even George W. Bush has George W. Bush comedy material in his act.

  • If you're going to do a Chris Christie joke, just say, 'Christie spent $82,000 at a concession stand at MetLife Stadium. Then he turned to his friends and said, 'You guys want anything?'' That's a joke. I can't believe it. I caved in. I feel awful.

    Believe   Guy   Awful  
  • Republican candidate George Pataki said his dogs would give him the best endorsement for becoming our next president. Until they hear Chris Christie always carries bacon in his pockets. (Joke's on them, though, he's never going to give them any of that pocket bacon. It's what gets him through long meetings!)

    Dog   Giving   Long  
  • You run on the treadmill. But you need to stop watching The Food Network when you're doing it. That is how you torture yourself.

    Running   Needs   Torture  
    "Jimmy Fallon Interviews Jimmy Fallon". Interview with Eric Spitznagel and Peter Yang, www.menshealth.com. December 23, 2014.
  • Sometimes I wish I had a terrible childhood, so that at least I'd have an excuse.

  • If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice.

  • President Obama finally has his own personal Twitter account. Even John McCain said, 'Welcome to the Internet, grandpa.'

  • Today, Mitt Romney visited a firehouse here in New York City. Of course, he was disappointed when he learned that a firehouse isn't a house where you get to fire people.

    New York   Fire   Cities  
    "This Week" with Jake Tapper, abcnews.go.com. May 6, 2012.
  • It's Friday. That's one reason to celebrate. Also, it's the first day in a long time when no one declared they're running for president.

    Friday   Running   Long  
  • Researchers in the U.K. have developed a vegetable called "super broccoli" designed to fight heart disease. Not to be outdone, researchers in America have developed a way to stuff an Oreo inside another Oreo.

  • Republican Ted Cruz announced that he will run for president in 2016. So finally, Carnival is no longer the most dangerous cruise in America.

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  • We hope you have found the saying you were looking for in our collection! At the moment, we have collected 397 quotes from the Television host Jimmy Fallon, starting from September 19, 1974! We periodically replenish our collection so that visitors of our website can always find inspirational quotes by authors from all over the world! Come back to us again!