Kathleen Madigan Quotes

On this page you can find the TOP of Kathleen Madigan's best quotes! We hope you will find some sayings from Comedian Kathleen Madigan's in our collection, which will inspire you to new achievements! There are currently 4 quotes on this page collected since September 30, 1965! Share our collection of quotes with your friends on social media so that they can find something to inspire them!
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  • I always give homeless people money, and my friends yell at me, 'He's only going to buy more alcohol and cigarettes.' And I'm thinking, 'Oh, like I wasn't?'

  • I bowled for two years in college, because I was drunk and needed shoes.

    College   Years   Shoes  
  • I don't have a computer. I'm going to wait until that whole fad is over. I was suckered in on the Pet Rock. Not twice, people.

    Rocks   People   Waiting  
  • The bus scares me. Way too many gross people on the bus. Sixty-five people on the bus and I was the last one on. I felt like calling Unsolved Mysteries. 'Yeah, I found everybody.

    People   Scare   Calling  
  • People entertain me more than I entertain them.

    People  
  • I never have goals or dreams. My sister says it's pathetic and lazy, but I had a goal, to tell jokes to pay bills and not have to live in a trailer. So, I think I'm living my fantasy. I don't have another.

    Dream   Thinking   Goal  
  • Kids? It's like living with homeless people. They're cute but they just chase you around all day long going, 'Can I have a dollar? I'm missing a shoe! I need a ride!

    Cute   Children   Kids  
  • I don't really write jokes. I wait for stuff to happen in life, and then I tell it on stage.

    Writing   Waiting   Stuff  
  • I would like to be an FBI profiler. I'm fascinated with psychology, but I wouldn't want to deal with people and their problems in my office. I like to figure them out from afar, narrow a case down, figure it out, but it sounds like a lot of science.

  • Some people are mean, and when you look at their page, they only write mean things, but I have a great time with a twitter person. It's not even to promote myself, just to entertain me.

    Writing   Mean   People  
    "Kathleen Madigan brings comedy to Clearwater". Interview with Marisa Williams, www.thorisazviews.com. January 23, 2017.
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We hope you have found the saying you were looking for in our collection! At the moment, we have collected 4 quotes from the Comedian Kathleen Madigan, starting from September 30, 1965! We periodically replenish our collection so that visitors of our website can always find inspirational quotes by authors from all over the world! Come back to us again!
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