Michael R. Burch Quotes
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Trump has officially changed his name to Ronald because he's such a clown, and in sympathy his toupée is changing its name to Bozo.
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Life's saving graces are love, pleasure, laughter ... wisdom, it seems, is for the Hereafter.
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There's no better tonic for other people's bad ideas, than to think for oneself.
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I lived as best I could, and then I died. Be careful where you step: the grave is wide.
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It's not that every leaf must finally fall, it's just that we can never catch them all.
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Donald Trump's hairpiece has reportedly narrowed its list of running partners down to Don King, Kramer, William Shatner, Dolly Parton and Phil Spector, and has no worries about being upstaged.
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If every witty thing that's said was true, Oscar Wilde, the world would worship You!
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C'm'on lefties! Admit that Trump has been very tough on China. He has been especially tough on Chinese kids who slave away in sweatboxes, making his clothing lines.
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Donald Trump has filed so many bankruptcies and busted so many companies that his children now have receding heir lines.
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These are clearly the end times, and now we understand why the prophets warned us about the Trump of Doom.
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Even Donald Trump's hairpiece is fed up with his insults and says it now supports Bernie Sanders. When Trump found out, he sobbed
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Abbesses' recesses are not for excesses!
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Perhaps love doesn't make the world go round, but it makes the bumpy ride worthwhile and provides a glorious destination.
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Donald Trump just announced that if Republicans don't treat him fairly, he will resurrect the Whig party and run as its hair apparent.
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Hell hath no fury like a frustrated fundamentalist whose God condemned him to "hell" for having "impure thoughts."
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What do you call a comedian who runs for president? A trump card.
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If God is good half the Bible is libel.
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When Donald Trump becomes president, he'll fly on a jumbo jet rebadged Hair Force One. It will be oversized to contain his massive ego, and will have all the latest and greatest blowdryer technology.
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Donald Trump really is a fan of the Bible, except that it's far too long for him to read. So he just released a new, improved version, the Gospel According to Trump. It reads: "I, Donald Trump, am God. Praise, worship, and adore Me as I do Myself. Then all shall be Great, as I am Great. The End."
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Epigrams delight us into wisdom.
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The truth can finally be told: Donald Trump's autism was caused by a vaccination that went terribly wrong; this explains why he can't relate to other people.
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Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick; Donald Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick.
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Every political card played by Jeb Bush has been Trumped; every political note played by The Donald has been Trumpeted.
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President Obama contends that charges he is "not really an American" have been trumped up by you-know-who.
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Donald Trump just pledged to be loyal to the Green Party, the Communist Party and Party Central, as long as they agree to be nice to that thing on his head. If not, all bets are off.
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How can the Bible be "infallible" when from Genesis to Revelation slavery is commanded and condoned, but never condemned?
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What do we get when the Donald exposes his enormous ass? A trump roast.
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Donald Trump isn't really running for president, come on! This is obviously a new reality show, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice. It ends with the incompetent celebrity being berated, humiliated, then unceremoniously fired.
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Donald Trump has taken the Peter Principle to unprecedented heights. Or is it depths?
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It's simply not true that Donald Trump has no experience in foreign affairs. Hell, two of his foreign affairs resulted in marriages!
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