Mort Sahl Quotes

On this page you can find the TOP of Mort Sahl's best quotes! We hope you will find some sayings from Comedian Mort Sahl's in our collection, which will inspire you to new achievements! There are currently 68 quotes on this page collected since May 11, 1927! Share our collection of quotes with your friends on social media so that they can find something to inspire them!
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  • New book on Malcolm X says we don't know how he was killed. Want to bring in the FBI. Maybe they were in already.

    Book   Want   Fbi  
    Twitter post from Apr 06, 2011
  • My life needs editing.

    Funny   Witty   Humorous  
  • Obama is running again for spite.

    Running   Spite  
    Twitter post from Apr 03, 2011
  • Women want their men to be cops. They want you to punish them and tell them what the limits are. The only thing that women hate worse from a man than being slapped is when you get on your knees and say you're sorry.

    Sorry   Hate   Men  
  • Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

  • Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.

    Factual  
    "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.
  • Obama says his recreation consists of reading the Constitution... looking for a loophole.

  • You know what I want you to do? I want you to blow out the candle and curse the darkness.

    Blow   Darkness   Want  
    Mort Sahl (1976). “Heartland”, New York : Harcourt Brace Jovanovich
  • I'm not a liberal, I'm a radical!

    Radical  
  • I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago. Because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

    Chicago   Want   Buried  
    "Political comedy pioneer Mort Sahl coming to Marin" by Stan Sinberg, www.sfgate.com. February 27, 2004.
  • I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.

  • There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.

    Might   Moral   Danger  
    Twitter post from Apr 04, 2011
  • When Obama ran, he said, We can change the world! The world: can you change it back?!

    Change   World   Said  
    Twitter post from Apr 01, 2011
  • Remember when movies were just good or bad, before auteurs, film festivals, and guys from USC who were the first to shoot underwater?

    Guy   Firsts   Underwater  
    Twitter post from Apr 07, 2011
  • If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.

    Jobs   Planets   Persons  
    "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.
  • People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

    Lonely   People   Guy  
  • I made the mistake early in my career, when I moved to Hollywood, of being attracted to actresses. I used to go out exclusively with actresses and other female impersonators.

    Mort Sahl (1976). “Heartland”, New York : Harcourt Brace Jovanovich
  • I took benzedrine - I got clairvoyance. With benzedrine you can have a very wide view of the world, like you can decide the destiny of man and other pressing problems, such as which is the left sock?

    Men   Destiny   Views  
  • I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.

    War   Pbs   Bob  
    Twitter post from Apr 13, 2011
  • I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.

    Tombstone   Men   Roger  
    "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.
  • One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.

    Twitter post from Apr 15, 2011
  • Now that Obama is at war in a 3rd country, does that mean he has to give back his Nobel Peace Prize?

    Country   War   Mean  
    Twitter post from Apr 08, 2011
  • If you can't join them, beat them.

    Beats   Ifs  
  • Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

  • There are Russian spies here now. And if we're lucky, they'll steal some of our secrets and they'll be two years behind.

    Years   Two   Secret  
  • We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.

    Country   America   World  
    Mort Sahl (1976). “Heartland”, New York : Harcourt Brace Jovanovich
  • If you maintain a consistent political position long enough, you'll eventually be accused of treason.

    Long   Political   Enough  
  • Television is never more false than when it's openly sincere.

    Mort Sahl (1976). “Heartland”, New York : Harcourt Brace Jovanovich
  • If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.

    Cutting   Shopping   Two  
  • We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.

    Mort Sahl (1976). “Heartland”, New York : Harcourt Brace Jovanovich
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  • We hope you have found the saying you were looking for in our collection! At the moment, we have collected 68 quotes from the Comedian Mort Sahl, starting from May 11, 1927! We periodically replenish our collection so that visitors of our website can always find inspirational quotes by authors from all over the world! Come back to us again!
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