Natasha Leggero Quotes
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I just went home to Illinois, and I asked my family, 'Are you guys planning on talking in those accents the whole time I'm home?' And my mother said, 'You used to talk like that, too, Tasha.' And I said, 'Yes, but you see, I've reinvented myself. Do you have any idea who I think I am?'
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The idea that you're supposed to do everything on your own is absurd. You can't.
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I don't see the point of watching men exercise.
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The only thing that makes me cry at weddings is the DJ's playlist.
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I'm not saying Martha Stewart is old, but she needs a new Walker more than the 'Fast and Furious' franchise.
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All these rappers on stage and Martha Stewart has done the most jail time.
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It's a human instinct to be known.
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Getting worried there might not be enough talent in America to acommodate all these singing shows.
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For comedians, we're all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them. You can gauge how good a joke might be by how many times it gets retweeted, but it takes discipline to go back through the tweets and then develop jokes from them.
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I do think people are definitely sick of the Kardashians.
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I grew up as a child actress, not a child star. I was an actress - big difference.
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Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.
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The chasm between rich and poor is becoming larger, and I think it's interesting terrain to talk about and expose.
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I love hard punch lines, and I like anything that has a strong point of view.
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I'm not 'one of the guys.' I don't want to pretend to be one on stage. I'm not going to dress like a guy or carry myself like one.
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I wish his music came out of the closet and admit that it sucks.
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Pop culture, it's crazy. There's all this violence in video games. In 'Call of Duty,' people are literally just blowing other people up. Hey, let's protect your country from your couch while eating your sandwich.
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Comedy is just one of the many professions that women are taking over.
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In general, comedians are attracted to vice.
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I think how tan a person is, is directly proportionate to how dumb they are.
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I was raised Catholic in Rockford, Illinois. But I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore. Oh God, no.
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Ke$ha IS the walk of shame.
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How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life?
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Guys should not be allowed to use the Internet all day long. So sad.
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Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?
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In L.A., you tend to see a lot of people do very bizarre things. I love it.
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My dream part would be to play Mitt Romney's sarcastic black maid. We could call it 'Mammy & Me.'
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Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting ruffied? It's like relax. YOU can take the coaster off your drink. There are at least three of us in line ahead of you.
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Your main contribution is spray painting your nickname on other people's things. And my cousin, who's a 'gangster', he's like, 'No, Tash, you don't understand; you throw a fat piece up there, that piece is yours.' I'm like, 'No one thinks you own Costco.'
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If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.
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