Nick Offerman Quotes
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I learned the word non-conformist in fourth grade and immediately announced that I would grow up to become one.
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I've learned through experience that to trouble celebrities with my handshake doesn't do anybody any good.
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I've been working steadily as an actor since around 1998. I wasn't well known in the public, but I was a dependable working journeyman.
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Not only do I recommend Wendell Berry to anyone who will talk to me for more than seven seconds, but I buy his books in quantity and send them to people. I bought a few dozen of his newest, "Our Only World."
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I don't know what it is on an elemental level, but a beard in general evokes hedonism. It's a more lush personal grooming style. It's more comfortable and cozy; it's less sharp and angular and businesslike. I feel like a beard is more Hobbit-like, even though Hobbits themselves are clean-shaven.
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Your dreams are always going to seem much more profound to you then they are to your friend.
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I would like Americans to make things with their hands. Thomas Jefferson and I feel that makes for a much stronger nation.
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Figure out what you love to do, then figure out how to get paid to do it.
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I'm always pleased that I managed to stay out of jail throughout my tenure in Chicago.
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My wife, the actress Megan Mullally, was an English major at Northwestern University and loves fiction. Like so many things in my life, she curates things for me. For example, I have the daunting prospect of Donna Tartt's "The Goldfinch" waiting for me when I get through my current reading pile.
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Children are so egocentric - they want to watch their lives, and not yours.
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I really bridled when Parks And Rec became popular and woodworking publications wanted me to do stuff with them.
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I come from the theater, where I got into acting because I love transforming. I love nothing more than to be unrecognizable.
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Really, all religious teachings can be boiled down to: “Just be cool. Don’t be an asshole.
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Don't use barbiturates before going on stage. And be honest.
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And what we've lost sight of is that performing manual labor with your hands is one of the most incredibly satisfying and positive things you can do.
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The first thing I do, after I talk with the director and we agree that I'm going to do the role... My jumping off point is I get a picture of what my 'look' will be. My wardrobe style, my facial hair, glasses and all that kind of stuff.
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Damn it all, you have been given a life on this beautiful planet! Get off your ass and do something!
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The ultimate disguise is nothing. Nudity.
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Jobs that require a suit upset me. They displease me much, as our world is rife with such superficial conformity.
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I don't put a great deal of stock in art trophies.
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We realized that the world of popular culture had been creating the perfect candidate for many years: the female champion of the universe.
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I always call myself a "student" of the guitar.
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Actually, I'm not super-kickass at a lot of things.
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When I was in high school, I would perform every year in those plays and there was something I really loved about it. But I was completely unaware that you could sort of get into an acting career.
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When we think of an actor, we think of a tanned, frosted-tipped, model-looking guy. We don't think of a plumber.
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I have a ridiculously beautiful wife who's super sexy, and as long as she's happy with me, I don't need to look in the mirror and think, "How do I stack up next to Bradley Cooper? Would Cooper rock this shirt?" Doesn't matter. He does not have your wife. You do.
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I like to play women who are not strong at all, because, there's certainly plenty of myself that is no kind of a warrior.
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My family has schoolteachers and librarians, and I think people who teach are probably some of our greatest American heroes. Certainly, underpaid and unsung.
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With all of the visual distraction constantly inundating us in the form of our devices and screens, I really derive a great deal of pleasure from watching the sun rise and set, admiring clouds as they change shape across the sky, watching tree leaves and blossoms undulate in the breeze....these treats foment an ocular-cleansing refreshment to my way of thinking.
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