Paul Lynde Quotes
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Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish?
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Someday I'm going to go onstage in a dress if I want to.
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If I'm not working, I don't know what to do.
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I often go on a liquid fast a couple of days a week. I never take just water. Instead, I'll have maybe six glasses of vegetable and fruit juices a day.
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My table seats eight, so that's my maximum. Having a small number of guests is the only way to generate good conversation. Besides, your whole house doesn't get wrecked that way.
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Food was a constant topic of conversation in our household.
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My following is straight. I'm so glad.
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I'm Liberace without a piano.
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If I hadn't become a celebrity, I'd probably be an alcoholic.
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As far as cookbooks go, I think Joy of Cooking is a classic. I've used it over and over again. Julia Child frustrates me. By the time you get all her herbs together, you're exhausted
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I don't understand why people don't remember my name.
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Peter Marshall: A western saddle has a curved horn on the front to hold something for the cowboy. What is it?
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The dining room in my old house was truly magnificent, but by far the worst room for conversation. I'd get up from the table, a very long table, and somebody would always say, Paul, I never got to talk to you.
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My sisters said, Why do you make those faces? You make yourself so ugly.
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The doctor's name was Sylvia. I told her she'd have a problem with me because Sylvia was my mother's name.
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Sandwiches are wonderful. You don't need a spoon or a plate!
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I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I've decided if I can make people laugh, I'm making a more important contribution.
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My kitchen is not a place to live in. I made it white so I can tell instantly if it's not clean-and I like it clean enough to be able to eat off the floors-or the tables,for that matter.
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Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics.
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I'm used to living alone, and I like it that way. You become so selfish living alone...I'd make a terrible husband anyway.
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My dad was a ham, too. He could sell those women anything. Of all his sons, I was the only one he could trust to sell as well as he could. I was proud of that.
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I have an ulcer. It has an IQ of 185.
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I was obsessed with being rich and famous.
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I may find something that looks interesting and then go on to alter the recipe by adding spices, things of my own. I also look for time-saving recipes, dishes that can be prepared ahead and stored.
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Mothers don't want to pinch me or put me in their purse.
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An actor shouldn't undergo psychoanalysis, because there are a lot of things you're better off not knowing.
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I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.
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It was the worst moment of my life. The producer came up and talked me back into going on stage.
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A closet full of wire hangers can be the most dangerous place in the world.
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I can't even get three weeks off to have cosmetic surgery.
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