Peter Kay Quotes
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The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
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It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
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You never know where to look when eating a banana.
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If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
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Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
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The most painful household accident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
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No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
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Amarillio, just turn to the left and 500 yards down
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Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
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One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
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I'm not homophobic. I'm not scared of my house.
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I might be collecting wheely bins in 12 months time but at least they'll be wheely bins outside back gates that I know, in a part of the country that I love. There's no place like home!
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Garlic bread - it's the future, I've tasted it.
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Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
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Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
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You ever dip your biscuit in your tea and it breaks. I swear now, you never get used to that.
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I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
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Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?
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Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
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There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when your hand or head is stuck in something.
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