Quentin Crisp Quotes
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If you describe things as better than they are, you are considered to be a romantic; if you describe things as worse than they are, you will be called a realist; and if you describe things exactly as they are, you will be thought of as a satirist.
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Fashion is a way of not having to decide who you are. Style is deciding who you are and being able to perpetuate it.
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If love means anything at all it means extending your hand to the unlovable.
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Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
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I never say 'No' to anything.
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A gentleman doesn't pounce he glides. If a woman sits on a piece of furniture which permits your sitting beside her, you are free to regard this as an invitation, though not an unequivocal one.
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Manners are a way of getting what you want without appearing to be an absolute swine.
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Masturbation is not only an expression of self-regard: it is also the natural emotional outlet of those who...have already accepted as inevitable the wide gulf between their real futures and the expectations of their fantasies.
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You should make no effort to try to join society, stay right where you are. Give your name and serial number and wait for society to come to you.
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Whenever we confront an unbridled desire we are surely in the presence of a tragedy-in-the-making.
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However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police.
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I never miss England.
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Every day someone notices me and waves to me, or stops and speaks to me, or asks me for an autograph, or photographs me.
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Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation of which the filing system has been lost?
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The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as 'Soho' poverty. It comes from having the airs and graces of a genius and no talent.
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When I was young, I wanted to find the Great Dark Man. When I said that I realise now that people thought that by 'dark' I meant black, and that by 'great' I meant big. Whereas I only meant a strong, mysterious person; someone who would 'take me away from all this.'
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Vice is its own reward. It is virtue which, if it is to be marketed with consumer appeal, must carry Green Shield stamps.
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All liaisons between homosexuals are conducted as though they were between a chorus girl and a bishop. In some cases both parties think they are bishops.
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The continued propinquity of another human being cramps the style after a time unless that person is somebody you think you love. Then the burden becomes intolerable at once.
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The absolute nothingness of death is a blessing. Something to look forward to.
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As someone remarked, when told the new atomic bombs would explode without a bang, "they can't leave anything alone."
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Los Angeles is just New York lying down.
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I don't really act. I say the words the way I would say them if I meant them.
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I like living in one room and have never known what people do with the room they are not in.
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What better proof of love can there be than money? A ten-shilling note shows incontrovertibly just how mad about you a man is.
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Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything outside you want, but whether there is anything inside that you have not yet unpacked.
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Manners are love in a cool climate.
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You see, astrology is like fortune-telling. If you can't get it right, you say, "Well, if Venus was doing something peculiar in the background, that would alter your prognostication--because, of course, astrology is rubbish.
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The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.
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It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style.
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