Richard Armour Quotes
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If we cannot define stupidity, at least we can trace most human misfortunes and weaknesses to it. Its manifestations are legion, its symptoms are endless.
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They head the list of bad to bet on: But I insist they're worse to get on
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Beauty is only skin deep, and the world is full of thin skinned people.
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There is no balm of Gilead, No salve, no soothing ointment To stay the pain of one who's had In love a disappointment-- Unless it be that healing lotion Of fixing on a new devotion.
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G is for Green, that's constructed to roll in every direction away from the hole.
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In larger things we are convivial; what causes trouble is the trivial.
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The great improvement of the radio over the telephone is that it may be turned off without offending the speaker.
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(Francis) Bacon's best known writings are his essays. They are loved for many reasons, such as their being so short.
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It is all right to hold a conversation but you should let go of it now and then.
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"Do you want my honest opinion?" People ask. I say, "Yes," for I'm curious. So they give me their honest opinion, And I - well, I'm always furious.
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Rockefeller made his money in oil, which he discovered at the bottom of wells. Oil was considered crude in those days, but so was Rockefeller. Now both are considered quite refined.
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Good sportsmanship we hail, we sing, It's always pleasant when you spot it. There's only one unhappy thing: You have to lose to prove that you've got it.
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The hand is quicker than the eye is, but somewhat slower than the fly is.
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Retired is being tired twice, I've thought, first tired of working, then tired of not.
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[Beowolf] is considered an epic because of its long speeches, its digressions, its repetition, and its being required.
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How I love to get a letter! I can think of nothing better Than perusing an epistolary item. But deep is my despondence, For I've found that correspondence Means that if you want to get 'em, You must write 'em!
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My day-old son is plenty scrawny, his mouth is wide with screams, or yawny; His ears seem larger than he's needing, His nose is flat, his chin's receding. His skin is very, very red, He has no hair upon his head, And yet I'm proud as proud can be, To hear you say he looks like me.
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Libraries: Here is where people, one frequently finds, lower their voices, and raise their minds.
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I've suffered from all of the hang-ups known, and none is as bad as the telephone.
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Until Eve arrived, this was a man's world.
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If only I kept my eye on the ball, Looking downward as does the pro there, I might not see where it was going, at all, But there might be a chance it would go there.
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Adolescence isn't a period; it's a coma.
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That money talks, I'll not deny, I heard it once: It said, 'Goodbye'.
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Although practice swings Can be helpful things, Twere better, indeed, not take any Than to fiddle and fret And before playing get Exhausted from taking too many.
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There are very few humorists who have written first-rate humor after they've become elderly.
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This golfer has a wicked slice. And quite a follow-through. That's why his partner, who stood too close, Is on the green in two.
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Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.
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Middle age is the time of life that a man first notices in his wife.
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When it comes to eating, you can sometimes help yourself more by helping yourself less.
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Each year it grows harder to make ends meet - the ends I refer to are hands and feet.
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