Scott Adams Quotes
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Writers tend to work early in the morning, or late at night, when brains are naturally able to focus deeply on one thought. In the middle of the day, distractions are unavoidable. I wonder if anything worthwhile has ever been written in the afternoon.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
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Methods for predicting the future: 1) read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls . . . collectively known as "nutty methods;" 2) put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer . . . commonly referred to as "a complete waste of time."
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I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff.
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Ideas are worthless. Execution is everything.
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Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
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There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma patient with a keyboard and spasms.
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Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
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If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
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A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer.
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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.
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The core belief that drives terrorism is the notion of a "holy place," along with the idea that some people belong there and other people don't. That's why the only solution to terrorism is for religious scholars to hold a global summit to agree on the definition of "holy place." Once they agree on a definition, it will be easier to mock it into submission.
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The ability to work hard and make sacrifices comes naturally to those who know exactly what they want.
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The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.
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Beware the advice of successful people; they do not seek company.
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No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.
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In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.
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As you know, the best way to solve a problem is to identify the core belief that causes the problem; then mock that belief until the people who hold it insist that you heard them wrong.
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Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.
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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
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For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.
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The longer you verk here, diverse it gets.
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I should have written that down. - Dilbert
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If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.
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And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.
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The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.
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My old life - no amount of getting used to it would have made it right.
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The best things in life are silly.
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Intelligence is a measure of how well you function within your level of awareness.
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To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories: (1) things that need to be fixed, and (2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
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