Victoria Wood Quotes

On this page you can find the TOP of Victoria Wood's best quotes! We hope you will find some sayings from Comedian Victoria Wood's in our collection, which will inspire you to new achievements! There are currently 38 quotes on this page collected since May 19, 1953! Share our collection of quotes with your friends on social media so that they can find something to inspire them!
All quotes by Victoria Wood: Luck more...
  • I wouldn't kidnap a man for sex - I'm not saying I couldn't use someone to oil the mower.

    Sex   Men   Oil  
  • Last time I went Intercity there were a couple across the aisle having sex. Of course, this being a British train, nobody said anything. Then they finished, they both lit up a cigarette and this woman stood up and said, Excuse me, I think you'll find this is a non-smoking compartment.

    Funny   Sex   Couple  
  • Acting is not my favourite thing. I don't like wearing costumes and wigs.

    Acting   Wigs   Costumes  
  • If God had meant men to have children, he would have given them a PVC apron.

    Children   Men   Aprons  
  • I have been in a youth hostel...You are put in a kitchen with seventeen venture scouts with behavioural difficulties and made to wash swedes.

    Kitchen   Luck   Venture  
  • Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.

    1989 Victoria Wood, television series. Published in Mens Sana in Thingummy Doodah (1991).
  • I have stayed true to that first idea that people can have a day in their lives that is very important and if they can reconnect with that day, reconnect with the people they were then, they can suddenly revive their emotions.

    "Victoria Wood recalls a historic day for Manchester music". Interview with David Ward, June 30, 2011.
  • All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro.

    Want   Thirteen   Colour  
    "Biography/Personal Quotes".
  • Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597.

  • If you behave normally, people treat you normally. It's only when you act as if you're someone special that they feel obliged to stand on ceremony.

    People   Special   Treats  
  • I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.

    Mean   Luck   Degrees  
  • For years I was an undiagnosed anorexic, suffering from a little-known variant of the disease, where, freakishly, the appetite turns in on itself and demands more and more food, forcing the sufferer to gain several stones in weight and wear men's V-necked pullovers. My condition has stabilised now, but I can never stray too far from cocoa-based products and I keep a small cracknel-type candy in my brassiere at all times. Fortunately, I wear a 'D' cup so there is plenty of room for sweetmeats.

    Men   Years   Suffering  
  • Of course I don't want to go to a cocktail party...If I wanted to stand around with a load of people I don't know eating bits of cold toast I can get caught shoplifting and go to Holloway [women's prison].

    Party   People   Luck  
  • My massage was marvellous. I feel really relaxed. And my masseur, Harold :You can't have a masseur called Harold. It's like having a member of the Royal Family called Ena.

    Royal   Massage   Members  
  • A lot of panel programmes rely on men topping each other, or sparring with each other, which is not generally a very female thing.

    Men   Female   Toppings  
  • If God had meant them to be lifted and separated, He would have put one on each shoulder.

    Shoulders   Ifs  
  • You know daytime television? You know what it's supposed to be for? It's to keep unemployed people happy. It's supposed to stop them running to the social security demanding mad luxuries like cookers and windows.

    Running   Luxury   Mad  
  • Sexual harassment at work... is it a problem for the self-employed?

    Work   Self   Problem  
  • Well, I think there's not much of a chance for me finding somebody of my age. Gentlemen of my age are dropping down 30 years to find girlfriends.

  • I can remember when pants were pants. You wore them for twenty years, then you cut them down for pan scrubs. Or quilts.

    Quilts   Cutting   Years  
  • In Russia, show the least athletic aptitude and they've got you dangling off the parallel bars with a leotard full of hormones.

    Russia   Athletic   Bars  
  • Music enriches people's lives in the same way paintings and literature do. Everybody deserves that.

    People   Literature   Way  
  • Everyone I meet is gay, married or crackers

    Gay   Married   Crackers  
  • Music is an element that should be part and parcel of every child's life via the education system.

  • In my day we didn't have sex education, we just picked up what we could off the television.

    Biography/Personal Quotes,
  • I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill.

    Thinking   Pills   Way  
  • Radio killed variety and TV killed radio, and the internet will kill television and it will go on and on.

  • In London it's easy not to be the focus of attention, especially when Sting lives in the house just behind you.

    Focus   House   Attention  
    "Down-to-earth Victoria Wood found comedy was a cure for her shyness" by Emily Retter, April 20, 2016.
  • In my 20s I was going round seeing agents who were patronising because I was fat and a girl, which was a double whammy. I knew what it was to feel out-of-the-loop.

    Girl   Agents   Fats  
    "Victoria Wood dies aged 62: Updates and reaction as comedian and actress loses short battle with cancer" by Danny Walker, Nicola Agius and Rebecca Merriman, April 20, 2016.
  • I like writing a lot more than I used to. I used to find it scary but now I've got used to it once it gets going. I used to find it hard to start. Fear of the blank page. The first thing you write down won't bear any relation to what's in your head and that's always disappointing.

    Writing   Scary   Pages  
Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
  • We hope you have found the saying you were looking for in our collection! At the moment, we have collected 38 quotes from the Comedian Victoria Wood, starting from May 19, 1953! We periodically replenish our collection so that visitors of our website can always find inspirational quotes by authors from all over the world! Come back to us again!
    Victoria Wood quotes about: Luck