W. S. Gilbert Quotes
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In all the woes that curse our race there is a lady in the case.
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every Jack He must study the knack If he wants to make sure of his Jill!
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I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical, From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical.
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The privilege and pleasure That we treasure beyond measure Is to run on little errands for the Ministers of State.
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Wherever valor true is found, true modesty will there abound.
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All bayonets are bad.
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If the jests that you crack have an orthodox smack, You may get a bland smile from these sages; But should it, by chance, be imported from France, Half-a-crown is stopped out of your wages!
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Life's a pudding full of plums.
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If your master is surly, from getting up early (And tempers are short in the morning), An inopportune joke is enough to provoke Him to give you, at once, a month's warning.
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Utopia's quite another land; In her enterprising movements, She is England--with improvements
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Oh, don't the days seem lank and long When all goes right and nothing goes wrong, And isn't your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at!
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He did nothing in particular, and did it very well.
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When in that House MPs divide/If they've a brain and cerebellum, too/They've got to leave that brain outside/And vote just as their leaders tell 'em to.
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No good play is a success; fine writing and high morals are useless on the stage. I have been scribbling twaddle for thirty-five years to suit the public taste, and I should know.
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I know everybody's income and what everybody earns, And I carefully compare it with the income-tax returns
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Things are seldom what they seem.
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Man is nature's sole mistake.
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Is life a boon? If so, it must befall That Death, whene'er he call, Must call too soon.
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I am the Captain of the Pinafore ; And a right good captain too! . . . . And I'm never, never sick at sea! What, never? No, never! What never? Hardly ever! He's hardly ever sick at sea! Then give three cheers, and one cheer more, For the hardy Captain of the Pinafore!
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Society has quite forsaken all her wicked courses, Which empties our police courts, and abolishes divorces.
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My object all sublime I shall achieve in time- To let the punishment fit the crime- The punishment fit the crime.
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After many unhappy experiments in the direction of an ideal Republic, it was found that what may be described as a Despotism tempered by Dynamite provides, on the whole, the most satisfactory description of ruler - an autocrat who dares not abuse his autocratic power.
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I see no objection to stoutness, in moderation.
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I'm very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific names of beings animalculous; In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
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Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold, And the mate of the Nancybrig, And a bos'sun tight, and a midshipmite, And the crew of the captain's gig!
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When every blessed thing you have is made of silver, or of gold, you long for simple pewter.
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No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have; and I think he's a dirty little beast.
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Isn't your life extremely flat,With nothing to grumble at?
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On my face extended flat I was walloped with a cat For listening at the key-hole of the door.
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I am the very model of a modern major general
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