Bartender Quotes

On this page you will find all the quotes on the topic "Bartender". There are currently 94 quotes in our collection about Bartender. Discover the TOP 10 sayings about Bartender!
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  • He had a habit of remarking to bartenders that he didn't see any sense in mixing whiskey with water since the whiskey was already wet.

    Water   Mixing   Whiskey  
    Joseph Mitchell (2012). “Up in the Old Hotel”, p.411, Random House
  • Next to the defeated politician, the writer is the most vocal and inventive griper on earth. He sees hardship and unfairness wherever he looks. His agent doesn’t love him (enough). The blank sheet of paper is an enemy. The publisher is a cheapskate. The critic is a philistine. The public doesn’t understand him. His wife doesn’t understand him. The bartender doesn’t understand him.

    Wife   Enemy   Agents  
    FaceBook post by Peter Mayle from May 29, 2011
  • I was a bartender at a Pizzeria Uno's for nine years. The people I worked with were amazing, but it was quite possibly the most miserable time of my life.

    Years   People   Nine  
  • I was a bartender for a long time, so I know how to make drinks, but I'm more likely to offer them than to have them. I think this is one of the reasons why I get to live longer than my great-grandmother did, and why I get to produce more writing than she did, and why my marriage isn't in dire straits.

    "The Eat, Pray, Love author and GQ alum talks about a new cookbook". Interview with Michael Hainey, www.gq.com. May 24, 2012.
  • .. the guitar is just a wonderful instrument. It's everything: a bartender, a psychiatrist, a housewife. It's everything, but it's elusive

  • This guitar is such a pal. It's a psychiatrist. It's a doggone bartender. It's a housewife. This guy is everything. Whenever I find that I've got a problem, I'll go pick my guitar up and play. It's the greatest pal in the whole world.

    Music   Guitar   Play  
  • You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

    Clever   Lying   Humorous  
    In Paul Dickson Official Rules (1978) p. 112
  • I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

  • My mother taught public school, went to Harvard and then got her master's there and taught fifth and sixth grade in a public school. My dad had a more working-class lifestyle. He didn't go to college. He was an auto mechanic and a bartender and a janitor at Harvard.

    Mother   Dad   School  
  • John Boehner is a member of a country club in Ohio. It turns out that the bartender was plotting to poison Boehner. Now wait a minute. Isn't that the movie with Seth Rogen and James Franco?

    Country   Ohio   Waiting  
  • Tobin," Mom said disapprovingly. She wasn't a particularly funny person. It suited her professionally - I mean, you don't want your cancer surgeon to walk into the examination room and be like, "Guy walks into a bar. Bartender says, 'What'll ya have?' And the guy says, 'Whaddya got?' And the bartender says, 'I don't know what I got, but I know what you got: Stage IV melanoma.

    Mom   Cancer   Mean  
    John Green, Lauren Myracle, Maureen Johnson (2009). “Let It Snow: Three Holiday Stories”, p.76, Penguin
  • Lend's dad, two werewolves, and a vampire. It was like the setup to a bad joke or something. A doctor, two werewolves, and a vampire walk into a bar. "What'll you have?" the bartender asks. "We were thinking him," the vampire answers, eyeing the doctor. Okay, jokes weren't my strong point.

    Strong   Dad   Thinking  
  • A Catholic priest, a Jewish rabbi, and a Muslim mullah all walk into a bar, and the bartender says: - What is this, a joke? - Сhurch is the only organization that exists primarily for the benefit of non-members.

  • If I go Before I'm old Oh, brother of mine Please don't forget me if I go Bartender, please Fill my glass for me With the wine you gave Jesus that set him free After three days in the ground.

    Brother   Jesus   Wine  
    "Song: 'Bartender'". 2002.
  • There's been times when I have actually had sex indoors. And then you kind of sober up a little when it's over. I become like a bartender at 2 AM. OK, people, let's move it out! Yeah, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.

    Sex   Moving   Home  
  • There's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I pour whiskey on him and inhale cigarette smoke and the whores and the bartenders and the grocery clerks never know that he's in there.

    Charles Bukowski (2012). “The Pleasures of the Damned: Selected Poems 1951-1993”, p.494, Canongate Books
  • Women, you overheated dipsomaniacs, never passing up a chance to wangle a drink, a great boon to bartenders but a bane to us--not to mention our crockery and our woolens!

    Women   Chance   Drink  
    Aristophanes, Jeffrey Henderson (1998). “Aristophanes: Birds. Lysistrata. Women at the Thesmophoria”, p.547, Harvard University Press
  • It's true though: time moves in its own special way in the middle of the night," the bartender says, loudly striking a book match and lighting a cigarette. "You can't fight it.

    Moving   Book   Fighting  
  • I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.

  • The basic thing is to be humble, and pretend you're a bartender in the tavern of life. Don't get too comfortable and don't really listen to anybody else. Don't stand around with a bunch of writers and talk about writing. You know when you see plumbers at a plumbers convention, usually they're not talking about plumbing: they're talking about whatever it is that two men happen to talk about. They're talking about sports, their wives and children. I just tell my students, don't talk about writing too much, just go out and do it. Find out whatever you need to get to the mainland.

    Source: www.guernicamag.com
  • I could finally quit my job as a bartender and stop dreaming that I might be Superman and know that I was. Then I started thinking about how cool it was.

    Dream   Jobs   Thinking  
  • Will there be any bartenders up there in Heaven, will the pubs never close?

    Song: God Loves A Drunk, Album: Rumor and Sigh
  • I remember back in Detroit, I used to go to the Apex Bar every night after I got off work. The bartender there used to call me Boom Boom. I don't know why, but he did.

    Night   Bars   Detroit  
  • I think they [TV productions] were just kind of drying up. I'd done a couple of episodes, but nothing was happening. So I went to Vancouver to visit a buddy and see what was going on, and that year was crazy. Vancouver was on fire at that point. It was all these Stephen J. Cannell productions - The Commish being one of them - and in one I was a bartender, and I think I had five lines.

    Couple   Crazy   Thinking  
    Source: www.avclub.com
  • My dad was a bartender. My mom was a cashier, a maid and a stock clerk at K-Mart. They never made it big. They were never rich. And yet they were successful. Because just a few decades removed from hopelessness, they made possible for us all the things that had been impossible for them.

    Mom   Mother   Dad  
    Marco Rubio's Speech at the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Florida, www.huffingtonpost.com. August 30, 2012.
  • An efficient bartenders first aim should be to please his customers, paying particular attention to meet the individual wishes of those whose tastes and desires he has already watched and ascertained; and, with those whose peculiarities he has had no opportunity of learning, he should politely inquire how they wish their beverages served, and use his best judgment in endeavoring to fulfill their desires to their entire satisfaction. In this way he will not fail to acquire popularity and success.

    Jerry Thomas (2016). “Jerry Thomas' Bartenders Guide: How to Mix All Kinds of Plain and Fancy Drinks”, p.13, Courier Dover Publications
  • ...went to a bar for a few drinks. The bartender asked what I wanted. "Surprise me", I said. So he showed me a naked picture of my wife.

    Wife   Naked   Bars  
  • I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right.

    Mean   Errors   Logic  
  • The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

    Drinking   Book   Beer  
  • The greatest accomplishment of a bartender lies in his ability to exactly suit his customer. . .

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