Black Humor Quotes
The best sayings about Black Humor that you can share on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social networks!
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The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
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When in doubt, blow something up.
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Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
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No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave.
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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
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Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.
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You start out with Mad magazine, and you go right through the sort of black humor of Lenny Bruce, Lord Buckley, Mort Sahl, Paul Krassner... If you put Lenny together with Mad magazine and run it through the brain of a college student, you get National Lampoon.
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Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth.
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I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
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The Muslims observe their Sabbath on Friday, the Jews observe on Saturday, and the Christians on Sunday. By the time Monday rolls around God is completely f***in' worn out.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
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A good motto to live by: "Always try not to get killed.
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I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
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It was a strange man, a kind of black humorist, a true philosopher. One day he said: "If my books could ensure an increase in the number of murders, well, it will mean that they have been quite useful in some way or another."
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Such techniques, including meta-discursive stuff, self-reference, irony, black humor, cynicism, grotesquerie and shock, it would be safe to say that television or televisual values rule the culture. Television is successfully using a lot of those same techniques but using them for a very different agenda, which is to sort of create an ethos and please people and to sell products to consumers.
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The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
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Sometimes I see a bird fly by and I feel jealous. But then other times I see a bird fly into a closed window and I feel laughing.
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Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles.
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After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.'
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You can talk any redneck into a challenge. That’s why so many rednecks die in strange ways.
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It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
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My film is very simple: An Eastern European story full of black humor about things everyone can feel and understand.
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I'm probably a lot closer than perhaps the contents of my early fiction suggest to a jaded Denny's waitress with smoker's-lung-black humor than a ghost hunter.
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The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
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If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
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Say what you want about the deaf.
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You have to accept the fact that sometimes you are the pigeon, and sometimes you are the statue.
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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
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As for me, I believe that if there's a God - and I am as neutral on the subject as is possible - then the most basic proof of His existence is black humor. What else explains it, that odd, reliable comfort that billows up at the worst moments, like a beautiful sunset woven out of the smoke over a bombed city.
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The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
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