Fart Quotes

On this page you will find all the quotes on the topic "Fart". There are currently 168 quotes in our collection about Fart. Discover the TOP 10 sayings about Fart!
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  • Let every fart count as a peal of thunder for liberty. Let every fart remind the nation of how much it has let pass out of its control. It is a small gesture, but one that can be very effective - especially in a large crowd. So fart, and if you must, fart often. But always fart without apology. Fart for freedom, fart for liberty - and fart proudly.

    Benjamin Franklin, Carl Japikse (2003). “Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School”, p.128, Frog Books
  • Some days I feel like everyone in my world has plugged themselves into my kidney. I'm so tired. But when you're having dinner with your kids and your husband and someone says something funny or you're dying laughing because your three-year-old made a fart joke, it doesn't matter what else is going on. That's real happiess.

    Mom   Husband   Real  
  • I always thought if you really want to be a good actor, you've got to be able to fart in public. That, to me, is the most important. If you are so inhibited that you can't fart, I don't mean around your friends, I mean just a fart, out loud somewhere. I don't mean the 'silent creeper', everybody does that. I mean fart out loud! Just that you can do it and not be afraid of it. Humility is very important.

  • I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women.

    Thinking   Fart   Knows  
    James Joyce (2016). “The Complete Works of James Joyce: Novels, Short Stories, Plays, Poetry, Essays & Letters: Ulysses, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, Finnegan’s Wake, Dubliners, The Cat and the Devil, Exiles, Chamber Music, Pomes Penyeach, Stephen Hero, Giacomo Joyce, Critical Writings & more”, p.3741, e-artnow
  • You couldn't shoot a fart out of your own ass!

    Ass   Fart  
  • Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.

    Baby   Humor   Adorable  
    Tina Fey (2011). “Bossypants”, p.130, Hachette UK
  • Your job today is to pass gas. You do that and we can start feeding you liquids. No fart, no food.

    Jobs   Today   Liquid  
    Khaled Hosseini (2009). “The Kite Runner”, p.250, A&C Black
  • There's nothing worse than a bunch of jaded old farts, and that's a fact.

    Facts   Fart   Bunch  
    "Robert Plant Opens Up About Led Zeppelin Reunion, Failed Follow-Up With Alison Krauss". Interview with Stephen Rodrick, www.rollingstone.com. January 06, 2011.
  • I once lay in a white hospital for the dying and the dying self, where some god pissed a rain of reason to make things grow only to die, where on my knees I prayed for LIGHT, I prayed for l*i*g*h*t, and praying crawled like a blind slug into the web where threads of wind stuck against my mind and I died of pity for Man, for myself, on a cross without nails, watching in fear as the pig belches in his sty, farts, blinks and eats.

    Rain   Men   Wind  
  • Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!

    Funny   Humor   Eggs  
    "Dylan Moran: Monster". Documentary, Comedy, 2004.
  • Rock n roll is for the young idiots, not an old fart like me.

  • I am of a different mind ten times in the course of a day. But I resist the devil, and often it is with a fart that I chase him away. When he tempts me with silly sins I say, 'Devil, yesterday I broke wind too. Have you written it down on your list?

    Silly   Wind   Yesterday  
    Martin Luther (1967). “Table talk”
  • Many individuals spend a considerable portion of their lifetimes in terror of one imagined catastrophe or another. The classic is that your immortal soul will be consigned to eternal torment in the never-ending subterranean barbecue if you fail to follow the whacky edicts of one particular set of puckered dogwhistles or another. You may recall from the great movie Strange Days that a "dogwhistle" is a guy whose asshole is so tight that when he farts, only dogs can hear him.

    Dog   Guy   Soul  
    "The Bad Guys". April 28, 2009.
  • Because nitrous oxide [released by nitrate-fertilised soil] is 296 times stronger than CO₂ at global warming and methane [cow farts] is about 26 times as potent as CO₂, the combined greenhouse effect of our livestock worldwide is greater than the sum total of all the cars, trains, busses, trucks, ships, airplanes and jets.

    "Threshold: The Progressive Plan to Pull America Back from the Brink". Book by Thom Hartmann, p.22, July 23, 2009.
  • Love is the fart Of every heart It pains the man when 'tis kept close, And others doth offend, when 'tis let loose.

    Pain   Heart   Love Is  
    1646 'Love's Offence'.
  • Besides, when you say you're a feminist it annoys the bigots and the old farts and the prissy ladies so much, it's kind of irresistible.

    Interview with Guy Haley, guyhaley.wordpress.com. September 17, 2014.
  • I'm only interested in heavy metal when it's me who's playing it. I suppose it's a bit like smelling your own farts.

  • A fart is just your arse applauding.

    Funny   Humor   Arses  
  • I trip and I burp and I fart, like everybody else.

    Fart  
  • I suppose that the main benefit of being rich (over just being independent) is to be able to despise rich people (a good concentration of whom you find in glitzy ski resorts) without any sour grapes. It is even sweeter when these farts don't know that you are richer than they are.

    Nassim Nicholas Taleb (2012). “Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder”, p.176, Random House
  • All I want to do is sit on my ass and fart and think of Dante.

    Thinking   Want   Ass  
    Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.
  • It having been a very cold night last night I had got some cold, and so in pain by wind, and a sure precursor of pain is sudden letting off farts, and when that stops, then my passages stop and my pain begins

    Pain   Night   Wind  
    Samuel Pepys, Robert Latham (1985). “The Shorter Pepys”, p.397, Univ of California Press
  • Don't be more serious than God. God invented dog farts.

    Dog   Serious   Fart  
  • I'm such an old fart that I started buying books on film and TV and radio and music when, for television, the entire shelf of books was only a couple of them. You go into the '70s before you start getting books on TV that you start wanting to collect. And by the time that you get to something like the Brooks and Marsh book it's invaluable. My house got hit by lightning in 1989 and burned down. And I got more than a half dozen Brooks and Marsh books sent to me by friends immediately, as though that's what you need more than clothes or food. That's how treasured that book was.

    Couple   Book   House  
    Source: www.avclub.com
  • So, you're worried that a pink dragon will fly over the concent and fart nerve gas on us?

    Neal Stephenson (2010). “Anathem”, p.110, Atlantic Books Ltd
  • Atlantic reckoned we should use a top Yank producer and appointed one Eddie Kramer to the post. It turns out the guy was full of bullshit and couldn't produce a healthy fart.

    Bullshit   Guy   Healthy  
    Letter to a former band-mate in Fraternity, 'Uncle' John Ayres, c. 1979.
  • You can't even trade a single fart with the next guy. Each and every one of us has to live out his own life. Don't waste time thinking about who's most talented.

    Thinking   Guy   Waste  
    "Zen ni kike (To you)" by Kodo Sawaki (Tokyo: Daihorinkaku), 1987.
  • I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. "Excuse me." she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.

  • The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that!

    Jessica Simpson ‏@JessicaSimpson, twitter.com. November 4, 2011.
  • In many ways, Eulah-Beulah prepared me for literary criticism. After having a two-hundred-pound babysitter fart on your face and yell Pow!, The Village Voice holds few terrors.

    Two   Voice   Criticism  
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