Funniest Simpsons Quotes
The best sayings about Funniest Simpsons that you can share on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social networks!
-
It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.
→ -
Art is what separates us from the animals.
→ -
I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
→ -
Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow
→ -
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson
→ -
I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming.
→ -
English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.
→ -
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way.
→ -
You can't handle the truth!
→ -
Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.
→ -
Whoever said, 'It's not whether you win or lose that counts,' probably lost.
→ -
But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!
→ -
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson
→ -
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.
→ -
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
→ -
When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV!
→ -
Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
→ -
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
→ -
This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
→ -
Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
→ -
It's not whether you win or lose - but whether I win or lose.
→ -
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
→ -
If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such.
→ -
Good things don't end in -eum; they end in -mania or -teria.
→ -
Guilt, remorse. It's what separates us from the animals.
→ -
I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!
→ -
Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
→ -
Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harassing that woman.
→ -
I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is -- and it's me.
→ -
You never know when an old calendar might come in handy! Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?
→
Top Authors
-
-
-
Ergun Caner Academic -
Emily Kinney Actress -
Emily VanCamp Actress -
Eric Allen American football player -
Elisha Lim Artist -
Elena Kagan Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States -
Elizabeth Samet Author -
Elizabeth Stuart Phelps Ward Author -
Ella Wheeler Wilcox Author -
Emma Bull Author -
Eric Ambler Author -
Ellen Klages Fictioneer -
Elizabeth Berkley Film actress -
Elaine May Film director -
Eric Heisserer Film director -
Emmitt Smith Football player -
Elizabeth Evatt Lawyer -
Elizur Wright Mathematician
-
Eratosthenes Mathematician -
Emily Bronte Novelist -
Emily Mitchell Novelist -
Elmer Rice Playwright -
Emma Donoghue Playwright -
Enoch L. Johnson Political figure -
Enrique Pena Nieto President of Mexico -
Emil Kraepelin Psychiatrist -
Eric Benet Singer-songwriter -
Emanuel Azenberg Theatre Producer
Share our collection of quotes on social networks – this will allow as many people as possible to find inspiring quotes about Funniest Simpsons!