Funny Dating Quotes
The best sayings about Funny Dating that you can share on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social networks!
-
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
→ -
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
→ -
We are constantly protecting the male ego, and it's a disservice to men. If a man has any sensitivity or intelligence, he wants to get the straight scoop from his girlfriend.
→ -
My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.
→ -
Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night?
→ -
There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.
→ -
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
→ -
Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.
→ -
I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.
→ -
I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.
→ -
I remember the first date I ever went out on. It was in high school. Her name was Marguerite. She was kind of a heavyset girl... I took her out on one date. We went out for dinner and a movie and a dinner.
→ -
I was dating this guy and we would spend all day text messaging each other. And he thought that he could tell that he liked me more because he actually spelt the word 'YOU' and I just put the letter 'U'.
→ -
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
→ -
Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.
→ -
If you kiss on the first date and it's not right, then there will be no second date. Sometimes it's better to hold out and not kiss for a long time. I am a strong believer in kissing being very intimate, and the minute you kiss, the floodgates open for everything else.
→ -
I pulled the boy close to me and said you see that girl, thats my only lil girl. So if you think about huggin or kissin. Remember these words. I aint afraid to go back to prison.
→ -
I don't know the first real thing about the dating game. I don't know how to talk to a specific person and connect. I just think you have to go to person by person and do the best you can with people in general.
→ -
Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible.
→ -
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain.
→ -
I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.
→ -
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
→ -
No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
→ -
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
→ -
You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don't let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, 'Well, why'd you put this spoon in this drawer then?' 'Just to p-s you off, that's why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.'
→ -
If a girl breaks up with me, I want her to just die, just be dead. Not 'cause I hate her so much as it's just easier for when my friends go, 'Hey, what happened?' 'Oh, she's dead. I'd still be with her, but she's dead. What can I do? She was loving me, but she's dead.'
→ -
I think more dating stuff is scheduling. It's needing people who understand your work schedule.
→ -
I am a strong believer in kissing being very intimate, and the minute you kiss, the floodgates open for everything else.
→ -
Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
→ -
I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
→ -
My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.
→
Top Authors
-
-
-
Eli Pariser Activist -
Edwin Forrest Actor -
Ellar Coltrane Actor -
Elisha Cuthbert Actress -
Edwin M. Stanton American Politician -
Elizabeth Holtzman American Politician -
Elizabeth Neel Artist -
Edna Jaques Author
-
Edward Howard Griggs Author
-
Edward Topsell Author
-
Elif Batuman Author -
Elisabeth Elliot Author -
Edgar Bronfman, Sr. Businessman -
Edie McClurg Comedienne -
Edward Glaeser Economist -
Elizabeth Cook-Lynn Editor -
Edward Francis Hutton Financier -
Eduard Shevardnadze Georgian Statesman -
Edgar Snow Journalist -
Elizabeth Jagger Model -
Elinor Carucci Photographer
-
Edward Rowland Sill Poet -
Edward Luck Professor -
Elijah Prophet
-
Edmund H. North Screenwriter
-
Eleanor Holmes Norton United States Representative -
Edmund Randolph United States Secretary of State -
Eliot Weinberger Writer
Share our collection of quotes on social networks – this will allow as many people as possible to find inspiring quotes about Funny Dating!