Funny Happy Fathers Day Quotes
The best sayings about Funny Happy Fathers Day that you can share on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social networks!
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If your dad is anything like mine, then you have no clue what to buy him for Father's Day. The only Father's Day tradition in my family is the annual conversation he and I have where I say, 'Hey, Dad, what do you want for Father's Day this year?' and he says, 'Nothing.' Then I ask my mom what I should get him and she says, 'He likes sandalwood soap, dangly jewelry and Chanel No. 5 perfume.'
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.
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The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother's always a Democrat.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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It is not flesh and blood, but heart which makes us fathers and sons.
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My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
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My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.
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When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
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You can do anything you want to do.
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One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.
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There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'.
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
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The thing to remember about fathers is, they're men. A girl has to keep it in mind: They are dragon seekers, bent on improbable rescues. Scratch any father, you find someone chock - full of qualms and romantic terrors, believing change is a threat - like your first shoes with heels on, like your first bicycle I took such months to get.
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If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.
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Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father.
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Father's Day: When you get that lethal combination of alcohol and new power tools.
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The greatest gift I ever had Came from God; I call him Dad!
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I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection.
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When I was a kid, my father told me every day, 'You're the most wonderful boy in the world, and you can do anything you want to.'
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.
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When Charles first saw our child Mary, he said all the proper things for a new father. He looked upon the poor little red thing and blurted, "She's more beautiful than the Brooklyn Bridge."
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For rarely are sons similar to their fathers: most are worse, and a few are better than their fathers.
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To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.
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If the relationship of father to son could really be reduced to biology, the whole earth would blaze with the glory of fathers and sons.
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Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again.
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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A king, realizing his incompetence, can either delegate or abdicate his duties. A father can do neither. If only sons could see the paradox, they would understand the dilemma.
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