Funny One Liner Quotes
The best sayings about Funny One Liner that you can share on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social networks!
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Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
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Don't take life too seriously.
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How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
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There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
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How do you know when you're finished making love?
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Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
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People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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The actors come in and they make characters their own and so Patrick and I have never been the kind to think that our script is the bible. We want to make sure that the story is told, that you stick to the story but if you have to make changes to the character then that's fine. A lot of times there are some funny one-liners, funny things that happen that are out of the ordinary. I like it.
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A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
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I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
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I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
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Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.
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My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
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99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
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Top Authors
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Jordan Vogt-Roberts Director
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Jonathan Moyo Zimbabwean Politician
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