Golf Humor Quotes
The best sayings about Golf Humor that you can share on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social networks!
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If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
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Swing hard in case you hit it.
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They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated than that.
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Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
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The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.
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I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.
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Some of us worship in churches, some in synagogues, some on golf courses...
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The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law.
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Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and run backward.
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Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
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Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.
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Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
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May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.
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If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would've been a great shot.
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I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.
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Golf is a game in which you yell "for," shoot six, and write down five.
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I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt.
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I play with friends, but we don't play friendly games.
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Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
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Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course
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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
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The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
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The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.
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If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
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Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.
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Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don't you?
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A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o'clock and make it go toward 12 o'clock. But make sure you're in the same time zone.
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I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot.
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I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser.
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After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
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