Golf Jokes Quotes
The best sayings about Golf Jokes that you can share on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social networks!
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If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
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Swing hard in case you hit it.
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They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated than that.
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In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base.
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I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.
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Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
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The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.
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Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose
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They throw their clubs backwards, and that's wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don't have to walk any extra distance to get it.
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Playing golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.
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The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law.
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The most important shot in golf is the next one.
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Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.
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Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.
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Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
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Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.
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May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.
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I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.
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Golf is a game in which you yell "for," shoot six, and write down five.
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There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
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I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.
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I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.
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Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
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The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
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Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.
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The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.
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The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.
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The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
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The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.
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If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
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Top Authors
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James Carriger Paine Judge
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James Lee Malaysian film director
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James A. Forbes Pastor -
James Adams philologist
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James Terry White Poet
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Jan Hellriegel Singer-songwriter -
James Larkin Trade unionist -
James Inhofe United States Senator -
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James Finn Garner Writer
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