Humor Quotes
The best sayings about Humor that you can share on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social networks!
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Rich people (in Australia) have swimming pools in their gardens but, at least, they do swim in them.
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I have lost friends, some by death...others by sheer inability to cross the street.
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AT&T is now offering a new service that allows you to pay your bills through your TV screen by using your remote control. So instead of saying, "The check's in the mail," people are going to say, "Hey, I wanted to pay, but I couldn't find the remote."
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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If I'm out to dinner with a group of friends, and somebody offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for my wallet. Inside is a note that says, "Say thanks!"
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You know, I'm Australian, and we have got the worst sense of humor. We are cruel to each other.
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It's going to require numerous IRA agents.
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My parents didn't like me. For bathtub toys they gave me a blender and a transistor radio.
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You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.
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The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.
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Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
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It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
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And some needs and hurts are so deep they will only respond to a mentor's touch or a pastor's prayer. Church and charity, synagogue and mosque, lend our communities their humanity, and they will have an honored place in our plans and laws.
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I never hated a man enough to give him diamonds back.
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Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.
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You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.
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I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same.
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I don't know if you've ever fallen asleep whilst eating a plate of cauliflower, and then woken up, and thought you were in the clouds.
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I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.
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The Holocaust would never have happened if black people lived in Germany in the 1930s and 40s … well, it wouldn't have happened to Jews.
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Last week I was walking by a cemetery, two guys came after me with shovels. It was all about money.
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I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!
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Wouldn't it have been weird to go to high school with the Pope? You know, somebody did, someone's sitting at home, watching TV in Poland, they see the Pope, they think, "That guy was a jerk! He was so mean to me and now he's Pope? I got a swirly from the Pope!"
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Rock Hudson wasn't my type. He's a great guy and had a great sense of humor.
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Rich Folkers is throwing 'em up in the bullpen.
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Cynicism is humor in ill health.
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I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.
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Things have been invented because of alcohol. Like the taser, okay? Yeah! The morning after pill, okay? The reach-around. Judge Judy. What has pot given the world? Hackey sack? YEAH! Hilarious ring tones? OH GAH! Ultimate Frisbee Championships? It sucks to be a champion at a sport that can't get you laid. It's an unneeded skill like, I dunno, being the best banjo player. Or a squirter.
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Top Authors
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Richard Hancock Actor
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Rick Neuheisel American Football coach -
Richard Saul Wurman Architect -
Richard Di Natale Australian Politician -
Richard Carlson Author -
Richard Selzer Author -
Rex Murphy Commentator -
Richard Tangye Engineer -
Ricky Williams Football player -
Richie Sambora Guitarist -
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Rick Bragg Journalist -
Richard Page Musician -
Rilla Askew Novelist
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Richard Bray Politician
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Richard Land Radio announcer -
Richard Norris Record producer -
Richard Finney Screenwriter
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Richard Biggs Television actor -
Rob Mariano Television Personality
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