Humorous Quotes

On this page you will find all the quotes on the topic "Humorous". There are currently 2293 quotes in our collection about Humorous. Discover the TOP 10 sayings about Humorous!
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  • Thank you so much for breaking my heart because you got me four Grammys.

    "Before He Was A Grammy Winner - A Conversation With Sam Smith". Interview with Robert Siegel, www.npr.org. February 9, 2015.
  • Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for an instant on the advancing mass, and then fairly turned his back and-we will not say fled; firstly, because it is an ignoble term, and, secondly, because Mr. Pickwick's figure was by no means adapted for that mode of retreat-he trotted away, at as quick a rate as his legs would convey him;.

    Funny   Humorous   Mean  
    Charles Dickens (1870). “The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club”, p.31
  • The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.

    Funny   Humorous   Iraq  
  • I never wanted to go on stage alone because if you mess up, who can you blame?

    FaceBook post by Patti LaBelle from Jan 24, 2013
  • I favor the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and it must be enforced at gunpoint if necessary.

    Funny   Humorous   Rights  
  • We had got as far as this, when who should walk in but the gentleman himself, who had been drinking his beer in the taproom and had heard the whole conversation. Who was I? What did I want? What did I mean by asking questions? He had a fine flow of language, and his adjectives were very vigorous.

    Arthur Conan Doyle, General Press (2016). “The Complete Sherlock Holmes: All 56 Stories & 4 Novels”, p.425, GENERAL PRESS
  • One of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible from one end to the other. Reading the Bible straight through is at least 70 percent discipline, like learning Latin. But the good parts are, of course, simply amazing. God is an extremely uneven writer, but when He's good, nobody can touch Him.

  • At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.

    Woody Allen (2007). “Mere Anarchy”, Random House Incorporated
  • The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland, you are what you push.

    Funny   Baby   Children  
  • I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

    Funny   Life   Hilarious  
    "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.
  • Hemingway was a jerk.

    "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.
  • ... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.

    Funny   Humorous   Wine  
    Charles Dickens (1861). “Great Expectations”, p.65
  • Better laid than never.

    Funny   Sex   Humorous  
  • Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.

  • he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something

    Witty   Stupid   Humorous  
  • I love making people laugh, and to be able to be that humorous character was great. And I actually was very similar to Neville Longbottom. I was very shy and chubby-cheeked. I wasn't bullied at school, but I wasn't particularly outgoing. We were similar. And so I loved playing him.

    Source: film.avclub.com
  • What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

    Dream   Witty   Humorous  
    "Without Feathers". Book by Woody Allen (from the play "God"), May 12, 1975.
  • I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.

    Humorous   Mad   Disease  
  • When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

    Funny   Witty   Humorous  
    George Burns (1986). “Dear George: advice & answers from America's leading expert on everything from A to B”, G K Hall & Co
  • Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

    Funny   Life   Birthday  
    Joey Adams (1981). “Strictly for laughs”, A & W Publishers, Inc.
  • I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.

    Funny   Girl   Humorous  
  • Brothers are a blessing for one thing. There is no possibility of any young lady getting unreasonably conceited if she be endowed with them.

    Sir Arthur Conan Doyle “Mysteries and Adventures”, Lulu.com
  • Eighty percent of air pollution comes from plants and trees.

    Humorous   Air   Tree  
  • The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.

    Witty   Art   Jobs  
    "Fictional character: Gertrude Stein". "Midnight in Paris", www.imdb.com. 2011.
  • Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that.

    Funny   Humorous   Men  
    'Martin Chuzzlewit' (1844) ch. 5 (Mark Tapley)
  • You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

  • It's good to know that if I behave strangely enough, society will take full responsibility for me.

  • I don't quite recollect how many tumblers of whiskey toddy each man drank after supper; but this I know, that about one o'clock in the morning, the baillie's grown-up son became insensible while attempting the first verse of 'Willie brewed a peck o' maut'; and he having been, for half an hour before, the only other man visible above the mahogany, it occurred to my uncle that it was almost time to think about going.

    Funny   Morning   Uncles  
    Charles Dickens (2016). “The Pickwick Papers: The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club”, p.554, Pan Macmillan
  • At the height of rush hour, people on the London underground actually say "excuse me." Imagine what would happen if you tried an insane stunt like that on the New York City subway. The other passengers would take it as a sign of weakness, and there'd be a fight over who got to keep your ears as a trophy.

    Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Talks Back”, p.104, Crown Archetype
  • It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.

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