Liquor Funny Quotes
The best sayings about Liquor Funny that you can share on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social networks!
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Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
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If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
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Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.
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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
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I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
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I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
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Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
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Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
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Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
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If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.
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Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
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I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
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I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
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No poems can please long or live that are written by water drinkers.
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When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
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If four or five guys tell you that you're drunk, even though you know you haven't had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while.
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I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
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The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
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The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer.
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Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.
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