Marriage Jokes Quotes
The best sayings about Marriage Jokes that you can share on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social networks!
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Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and halfway closed there after.
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Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.
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It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!"
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Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.
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A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.
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Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
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After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
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Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers.
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Marriage: a ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman.
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What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
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Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
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Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
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