Turds Quotes
The best sayings about Turds that you can share on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social networks!
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The people of your century no longer require the service of composers. A composer is as useful to a person in a jogging suit as a dinsoaur turd in the middle of his runway.
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Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.
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Life and literature is a question of what one thrills to, and further than that no man shall ever go without putting his foot in a turd.
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If we mix only a moderate minority share of turds with the raisins each year, probably no one will recognize what will ultimately become a very large collection of turds.
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I grew up having to piss in a bucket ’cos there was no indoor shitter, and now I have these computerised Japanese super-loo things that have heated seats and wash and blow-dry your arse at the touch of a button. Give it a couple of years and I’ll have a bog with a robot arm that pulls out my turds, so I don’t have to strain.
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When you mix raisins and turds, you've still got turds.
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When a writer is swayed with his fame and his fortune, you can float him down the river with the turds.
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Neferet, you're nuttier than squirrel turds.
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Javier Pastore wouldn't get a beach ball off me if we were locked in a phone box. He's turd. Anyone who thinks he isn't is clueless.
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Although to be fair, cherry picking isn't quite what we do. Cherries are sweet and delicious. What we do is more turd mining. And I'll thank you to give our work the respect it deserves!
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Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
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Watching these channels all day is incredibly depressing. I live in a constant state of depression. I think of us as turd miners. I put on my helmet, I go and mine turds, hopefully I don't get turd lung disease.
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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.
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My wife, trying to be helpful, goes to the grocery store and buys this stuff called soy bacon. Let me tell you something: I know soy beans are good for a lot of things. Let's stay out of the bacon market! It says It looks and tastes like real bacon! No it doesn't! It tastes like somebody bacon-flavored a turd, that's what it tastes like!
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If it's not working, you can't polish a turd.
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Jerry Bruckheimer creates comedy, he just doesn't realize because he's a turd.
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If you don't have a mobile strategy, you're in deep turd.
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The thing that bothers me the most is the recklessness and greed of the local ranchers, who run too many cattle back here, choking with waste the creek that runs through my property. There's certain times of day that the cowboys like to send them turds down the river. Them f**kers piss me off. if you gotta mess up the ecology of the world in order to raise a bunch of cows, well eat somethin else. I'm not a fan of the cowboys.
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But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.
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If I started thinking too much about how influential I've been, then I'd be more of a turd than I already am.
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that's as nutty as squirrel turds
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Surfing is one of the most joyful pursuits a human can take up. But there's no joy in a deadzone. If you've ever surfed in turds and medical waste you don't want to repeat the experience.
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You can't polish a turd.
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Don't pole-vault over mouse turds.
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Life is not like a box of chocolates unless there's a few turds in the box.
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As you swim the river of live, do the breast stroke. It helps to clear the turds from your path.
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The most hopeful thing in the stories, I hope, is wit. I make it up. If I make up a world in which we're ruled by big talking turds, it doesn't mean that we are. So you shouldn't feel depressed.
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I was talking to my friend from New York yesterday, and I used the expression, 'You can't polish a turd'. He looked at me, disgusted, and said, 'No, you can't, but you can roll it in glitter'. He's a lovely guy but I wouldn't want to go to a craft fair with him
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I'm the sort of loser who succeeds really well and then drops a turd in the punch bowl.
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Sometimes you've got to eat a turd sandwich; makes the ribeye taste better next time.
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