Witty Christmas Quotes
The best sayings about Witty Christmas that you can share on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social networks!
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Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
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Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.
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I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
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Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
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At Christmas play and make good cheer, for Christmas comes but once a year.
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The earth has grown old with its burden of care, but at Christmas it always is young, the heart of the jewel burns lustrous and fair, and its soul full of music breaks the air, when the song of angels is sung.
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Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?
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Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?
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Christmas, my child, is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas.
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The joy of brightening other lives, bearing each others' burdens, easing other's loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of Christmas.
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The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
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When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?
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Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.
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A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
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I have always thought of Christmas time... as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time.
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Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?
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The earth has grown old with its burden of care, But at Christmas it always is young.
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
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What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
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In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "Hanukka" and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy Hanukka!" or (to the atheists) "Look out for the wall!"
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
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I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
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But I am sure that I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round...as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely.
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Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
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The only real blind person at Christmas time is he who has not Christmas in his heart.
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Top Authors
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Michael Chiklis Actor -
Michael J. Fox Actor -
Michael Shurtleff Actor -
Micky Dolenz Actor -
Michael J. Sullivan Author -
Michael O'Brien Author -
Mike Scioscia Baseball Manager -
Michael Finley Basketball player -
Michael Holroyd Biographer -
Michael Eisner Businessman -
Michael Olesker Columnist
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Michelle Singletary Columnist
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Michael Torke Composer -
Michael Franzese Crime lord -
Michael Rosenbaum Film actor -
Michael Dukakis Former Governor of Massachusetts -
Mike Lowry Former Governor of Washington -
Mike McCurry Former White House Press Secretary -
Mick Mars Guitarist -
Michael Ben-Ari Israeli Politician -
Mike Brady Musician -
Michael Uslan Producer -
Mika Hakkinen Racing driver -
Michelle Akers Soccer player -
Michael Herr Writer -
Midori Snyder Writer -
Mike Gray Writer
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