Roy Blount, Jr. Quotes
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Think about scary movies: There's a fine line between horror and humor.
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I prefer my oysters fried; that way I know my oysters died.
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It was easy to make fun of Bush, but it was sort of like shooting fish in a barrel and it didn't really feel all that good because it was so easy to do. I would much rather live under a thoughtful president. Even if it makes it harder to be funny about politics, it makes it more interesting to be funny about politics.
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Ham's substantial, ham is fat. Ham is firm and sound. Ham's what God was getting at When He made pigs so round.
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Usage ain't always a matter of ought.
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If a cat spoke, it would say things like, 'Hey, I don't see the problem here.'
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A dog will make eye contact. A cat will, too, but a cat's eyes don't even look entirely warm-blooded to me, whereas a dog's eyes look human except less guarded. A dog will look at you as if to say, "What do you want me to do for you? I'll do anything for you." Whether a dog can in fact, do anything for you if you don't have sheep (I never have) is another matter. The dog is willing.
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I heard on public radio recently, there's a thing called Weed Dating. Singles get together in a garden and weed and then they take turns, they keep matching up with other people. Two people will weed down one row and switch over with two other people. It's in Vermont. I don't think I'd be very good at Weed Dating.
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To me, letters have always been a robust medium of sublimation. I don't remember what I was like before I learned my ABC's, but for as long as I can remember I have made them with my fingers and felt them in my bones.
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Perhaps the truth is that heavy literature blooms in extremes of temperature.
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The local groceries are all out of broccoli, loccoli.
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I think a writer is not an ideal husband... Writers tend to get off into their own heads and not notice the people that they're living with, or they get irritable with the people that they're living with when the people insist on being noticed.
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Many a person has been saved from summer alcoholism, not to mention hypertoxicity, by Dostoyevsky.
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A good heavy book holds you down. It's an anchor that keeps you from getting up and having another gin and tonic.
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Anyone who undertakes the literary grind had better like playing around with words.
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I just think lots of words have physicality. How about the word 'wobble?' You think that's arbitrary? When you say the word 'wince,' you wince. How about that?
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The North isn't a place. It's just a direction out of the South.
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I always wanted to win the Super Bowl so I could take it and hold it and see what lies beyond it. I think it may be the sun.
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It's my belief that sanity lies in realizing that reality is not exactly what we had in mind.
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Cats have intercepted my footsteps at the ankle for so long that my gait, both at home and on tour, has been compared to that of a man wading through low surf.
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Mozart combined high formality and playfulness that delights as no other composition in any other medium does.
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According to scholars of linguistics, the relation between a word and its meaning is arbitrary.
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Twitter. It's not a good sound, is it? If it were worth doing, there would be a better word for it.
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Get your friends together, go to your local bookstore and have a book-buying party.
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People may think of Southern humor in terms of missing teeth and outhouse accidents, but the best of it is a rich vein running through the best of Southern literature.
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I like weeding, but I tend to think of it as a solitary activity.
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I think what's really hard is making sense and making what you write clear and smooth-flowing.
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Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.
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I do not know what the cat can have eaten. Usually I know exactly what the cat has eaten. Not only have I fed it to the cat, at the cat's insistence, but the cat has thrown it up on the rug, and someone has tracked it all over onto the other rug. I do not know why cats are such habitual vomiters. They do not seem to enjoy it, judging by the sounds they make while they are doing it. It's their nature. A dog is going to bark. A cat is going to vomit.
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Studying literature at Harvard is like learning about women at the Mayo Clinic.
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