George Carlin Quotes About Aging
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But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
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You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
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How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
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You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
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If anyone e-mails you something "by George Carlin," there's a 99 percent chance I did not write it. I didn't write "Paradox Of Our Time." I didn't write "George Carlin On Aging." I didn't write a eulogy for my wife after she died. I didn't write the New Orleans thing. I didn't write "I Am A Bad American." None of them. You know what I've decided to do? I'm going to get a little cheap put-it-together-yourself website called NotMe.com.
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But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
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May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
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So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
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You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
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