Sarah Silverman Quotes
-
I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core.
→ -
And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school.
→ -
I can only speak from my own experience, and I would say that the depression I experienced feels like a chemical change. When it came over me, when it comes over me, it feels like it's coming over me like a flu.
→ -
In the big picture, life has a gap in it. It just does. You don't go crazy trying to fill it.
→ -
You want to make people laugh and by virtue of that please them, but when you're instructed to make people laugh and please them, you're too resentful to do it.
→ -
The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17.
→ -
I still have highs and lows, maybe I don't cry salty tears as much.
→ -
Comedy can't live within my second-guesses, so I started doing new material. Sometimes I bombed. But you have to be willing to if you want to move forward and stay vital. It's like people who take pride in not having a computer. I'm all, "Great, don't learn new things! Your brain is full!"
→ -
I don't think comedy comes from hotbeds of doing shtick. I think it usually comes from some kind of childhood humiliation or darkness.
→ -
You have to take the chance to bomb and disappoint audiences.
→ -
Don’t forget, God can see you masturbating. But don’t stop. He’s almost there.
→ -
I don't need a lot of space.
→ -
I do know that I can take a punch. I've been punched in the face three times. That's, I think, a really important thing to know about yourself. It helps you in life. It helps you be brave when you know you can take a punch. I'm a lover, not a fighter. But, God bless me, I can take a punch.
→ -
Letting your freak flag fly is something, no matter who you are, that takes great bravery, straight up.
→ -
I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in, and he says, "I want pussy!" Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but he was talking about me!
→ -
Traditionally, I have no right to talk about race. I'm white; I didn't grow up in an all-black neighborhood. But the license I see for myself is I'm a member of the world.
→ -
The best time to have a baby is when you're a black teenager.
→ -
I do enjoy and feel compelled to talk about things that are taboo. One, because I think I'm a troublemaker inside, if someone says, "Don't say that," it's all I want to say. And also, something I learned in therapy ... which is darkness can't exist in the light, and then that made me think of something that Mr. Rogers said, which is, "If it's mentionable, it's manageable."
→ -
If I don't do stand-up for two weeks, I get freaked out.
→ -
I am diagnosed with not having enough insanely-addictive drugs coursing through my body.
→ -
When I was 17, I read a profile of Carol Leifer. Since then, I wanted to be her. I still want to be her.
→ -
I remember my first standup act when I was seventeen; I did a really lame song about being flat chested. I was doing it in New York, and I remember Kevin Brennan, the guy I lost my virginity to, was like "That song doesn't make sense, you have tits."
→ -
Summer camp: the second worst camp for Jews.
→ -
I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it.
→ -
I have no religion. But culturally I can't escape it; I'm very Jewish.
→ -
When I was three, my dad thought it would be hilarious to teach me swear words, then have me say them to his friends. They would laugh and laugh. I realize now the laugh was pure shock value, but it felt really good, and I've been chasing it ever since.
→ -
I'd rather have a girl exposed to me than 25 women in prom dresses vying for a stranger.
→ -
I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin.
→ -
I was paralyzed with fear. It was unbearable to be among other kids who were just standing around being fine. It was one of the many inconveniences of this paradox I lived with -the more people I was surrounded by, the more frighteningly alone I felt.
→ -
I mean, I love being with friends and I love kissing and loving someone to pieces. But it's hard to find someone who doesn't ultimately start judging you and your choices.
→
Related Authors
-
Kate Beckinsale Actress -
Amanda Seyfried Actress -
Michael Sheen Actor -
Matt Damon Actor -
Liam Neeson Actor -
Patton Oswalt Comedian -
Giovanni Ribisi Actor -
John C. Reilly Actor -
Chelsea Handler Comedian -
Seth MacFarlane Actor -
Tina Fey Actress -
Chris Henchy Screenwriter -
Neil Patrick Harris Actor -
Bill Maher Comedian -
James Franco Actor -
Charlize Theron Actress -
Jeff Ross Stand-up comedian -
Alec Sulkin Television writer -
Amy Schumer Stand-up comedian -
Jane Lynch Actress