Wilson Mizner Quotes
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Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
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There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.
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I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
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Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
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I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
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I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
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Gambling: A sure way to get nothing from something.
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Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
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I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
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Failure has gone to his head.
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A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.
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The first hundred years are the hardest.
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A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.
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Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.
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Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you
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The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
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Faith is a wonderful thing, but doubt gets you an education.
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Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.
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Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.
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What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.
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He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
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Count 10 over him - he'll get up
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God help those who do not help themselves.
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
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Related Authors
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Charles Farrar Browne Writer -
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