Winston Churchill Quotes About Funny
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I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught.
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Eating words has never given me indigestion.
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There is no finer investment for any community than putting milk into babies.
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Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose
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He is like a female llama surprised in her bath.
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Although always prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it should be postponed.
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I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
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I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
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Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash.
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A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.
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It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
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A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.
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A joke is a very serious thing.
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You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
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Dead birds don't fall out of their nests.
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Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
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The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative.
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Democracy is an awful way to run a country, but it's the best system we have.
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I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.
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The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
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In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.
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A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
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A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest
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Sunshine is my quest.
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Don't argue about the difficulties. The difficulties will argue for themselves.
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A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
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You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.
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There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
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You can always rely on America to do the right thing -- once it has exhausted the alternatives.
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I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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Winston Churchill
- Born: November 30, 1874
- Died: January 24, 1965
- Occupation: Former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom