Judy Gold Quotes
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Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative.
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The first time I did stand-up was on a dare.
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What if obese people couldn't get married?
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I have a nice little house in LA. Well, the bedroom is nice. I have French doors in the bedroom. They don't open unless I lick them.
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We never talked to each other in my family. We communicated by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator.
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Twelve years ago my mother gets her cataracts removed. So twelve years ago the doctor gives her these enormous sunglasses to wear to protect her eyes from the sun for 4-6 weeks after the operation...twelve years ago. She still wears them. She thinks they're attractive. She looks like Bea Arthur as a welder.
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If you're going to hit a car, try to be sure that it's not a cop car
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Joan Rivers broke down barriers, advocated for free speech, and never apologized for who she was.
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Comedy is the most palliative way to make a point. People are more willing to listen if they can laugh.
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My doctor said I had OCD. I couldn't believe it. I had to call him nine times to make sure.
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